1
00:00:00,824 --> 00:00:04,827
Pick up. Table ten, table 12, table 69.
2
00:00:04,828 --> 00:00:07,329
Oleg, there is no table 69.
3
00:00:07,330 --> 00:00:10,667
There could be.
4
00:00:10,668 --> 00:00:12,168
Oleg just sixty-nined me,
5
00:00:12,169 --> 00:00:15,104
and now I don't remember
any of the table numbers.
6
00:00:15,105 --> 00:00:16,839
Look, he's never gonna
stop sixty-nining us.
7
00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:17,974
Forget the table numbers.
8
00:00:17,975 --> 00:00:19,441
Here's how you remember your orders.
9
00:00:19,442 --> 00:00:20,743
You just give people nicknames.
10
00:00:20,744 --> 00:00:22,879
Look, I got thin cee lo,
11
00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:26,716
fat rihanna, jon beret ramsey,
12
00:00:26,717 --> 00:00:29,152
and kristen bad wig.
13
00:00:29,153 --> 00:00:30,519
Oh, okay.
14
00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:31,921
I got seth rogaine,
15
00:00:31,922 --> 00:00:33,389
child molester moustache,
16
00:00:33,390 --> 00:00:36,192
and lesbian justin bieber.
17
00:00:36,193 --> 00:00:38,728
- Good.
- Thanks.
18
00:00:38,729 --> 00:00:41,330
Pick up. Table six.
19
00:00:41,331 --> 00:00:44,133
...ty-nine.
20
00:00:44,134 --> 00:00:51,607
Synced By YesCool
www.addic7ed.com
21
00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:55,455
+
22
00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,392
So can I get you anything else?
23
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:02,762
Coffee? Dessert? Morning-after pill?
24
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:05,532
Okay.
25
00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:08,000
Getting it on in a restaurant.
26
00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:11,170
I once made love to a
young angela lansbury
27
00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:13,607
in a booth just like that.
28
00:01:13,608 --> 00:01:14,774
Murder she wrote?
29
00:01:14,775 --> 00:01:18,612
more like "harder she begged."
30
00:01:18,613 --> 00:01:20,647
Earl, why isn't everyone you?
31
00:01:20,648 --> 00:01:22,349
Yo, what's up, mama?
32
00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:23,450
Oh, hey, johnny.
33
00:01:23,451 --> 00:01:25,118
Usual? Two coffees to go?
34
00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:27,019
Yeah, and can I get
two of your cupcakes?
35
00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,988
Which two?
36
00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:30,490
You know which two.
37
00:01:30,491 --> 00:01:32,692
The discounted day-olds?
38
00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:34,561
Yeah, girl.
39
00:01:34,562 --> 00:01:36,529
Hey, my bro and friend.
40
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:38,465
Hey, what's up, big guy?
41
00:01:44,472 --> 00:01:47,006
Max, your boyfriend is here.
42
00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:48,375
He's not my boyfriend.
43
00:01:48,376 --> 00:01:50,209
He's just another guy
who likes my cupcakes.
44
00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:52,245
'cause who doesn't?
45
00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:54,714
Well, your face gets
red when you see him,
46
00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:58,017
and you suddenly act like nice person.
47
00:01:58,018 --> 00:02:01,688
If that's not love,
I don't know what is.
48
00:02:01,689 --> 00:02:03,456
He doesn't know what love is.
49
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,692
The only thing he ever
loved was a stepladder.
50
00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:12,231
Johnny, here's your stale
cake and burnt coffee.
51
00:02:12,232 --> 00:02:14,301
Just how I like it.
What do I owe you?
52
00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:15,302
It's on me.
53
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:21,007
You wish it was on you.
54
00:02:21,008 --> 00:02:23,009
There's nothing going on.
55
00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:24,444
He just comes in here to get coffee
56
00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:26,112
because he tags billboards all night.
57
00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:29,416
Methinks the lady
doth protest too much.
58
00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:31,484
Listen, renaissance fair,
59
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:34,387
why don't you be a good wench
and clean up your counter?
60
00:02:38,326 --> 00:02:40,026
Until the cupcake business takes off,
61
00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:42,329
i'm just gonna have to
find a temp job online.
62
00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:45,765
Can I close this window that says
"mexican painkillers"?
63
00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:49,168
Yeah, yeah, but, uh,
bookmark it first.
64
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:52,138
Here we are. Craigslist. Okay.
65
00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:53,606
How does this job sound?
66
00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:55,442
Disgusting and depraved.
67
00:02:55,443 --> 00:02:57,076
You didn't even hear it yet.
68
00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:59,879
Did I not hear "craigslist"?
69
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:02,215
Oh. Here's something easy I could do.
70
00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:04,517
A professional organizer.
71
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:05,785
You're not a professional organizer.
72
00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:07,354
You're barely a professional waitress.
73
00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:09,322
I am a genius at organizing things
74
00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:10,724
and getting them out of the way.
75
00:03:10,725 --> 00:03:13,693
I recently lost all my money and
the promise of a bright future,
76
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,628
and I've organized that
into a file in my head
77
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:18,631
labeled "do not open
until you are stronger."
78
00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:19,999
If I can handle that for myself,
79
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,736
I can certainly handle a
stranger's light filing.
80
00:03:22,737 --> 00:03:24,070
If I had known all that craziness
81
00:03:24,071 --> 00:03:25,304
was going on in your head,
82
00:03:25,305 --> 00:03:27,340
I would have ordered you
some mexican pain killers.
83
00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,008
Or the peruvian.
84
00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:30,410
They're stronger,
85
00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:34,881
but sometimes they make you
lose control of your hands.
86
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:37,751
Thought that was an ibuprofen.
87
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,888
What is johnny doing
here at 3:00 a. M.?
88
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:44,924
Thought it was a rapist or something.
89
00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:49,362
Rapists don't knock and wave.
90
00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:51,865
And if they looked like that,
we wouldn't call them rapists.
91
00:03:51,866 --> 00:03:54,768
We'd call them... Johnny!
92
00:03:54,769 --> 00:03:56,503
What are you doing here?
93
00:03:56,504 --> 00:03:58,271
I'm here to talk to you guys
94
00:03:58,272 --> 00:04:00,940
about the church of latter day saints.
95
00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:03,643
And I have to pee.
Can I use your bathroom?
96
00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:07,881
No problem. Don't forget to
tip the bathroom attendant.
97
00:04:07,882 --> 00:04:09,115
What's up, caroline?
98
00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:10,650
Just trying to find a day job
99
00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:13,119
where I won't get
handcuffed to a radiator.
100
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:16,456
On craigslist?
101
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:20,660
This is so romantic.
102
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:22,429
Jumping over the back wall
103
00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:24,731
to drop down and see you
in the middle of the night?
104
00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:26,399
It's very romeo and juliet.
105
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,034
it is very romeo and juliet.
106
00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:31,571
He has to pee,
and I'm the nearest toilet.
107
00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:33,673
Please. That's just an excuse.
108
00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:35,909
The man defaces buildings. And what?
109
00:04:35,910 --> 00:04:37,310
He draws the line at peeing on them?
110
00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:38,912
He came by here to see you.
111
00:04:38,913 --> 00:04:41,314
Pull your hair back.
It's kind of in your face.
112
00:04:41,315 --> 00:04:44,784
Pull yourself back.
You're kind of in my face.
113
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,719
Thanks, guys.
114
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,621
I was tagging a building nearby,
115
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:49,722
and while I was on the roof
116
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:50,890
I saw that your light was on,
117
00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:52,759
so I thought I'd stop in and say hey.
118
00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,226
- Hey.
- So, johnny,
119
00:04:54,227 --> 00:04:56,729
you just saw our light
on from the roof nearby?
120
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:58,030
Interesting.
121
00:04:58,031 --> 00:05:00,266
Do you always look down
when you're up that high?
122
00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:01,267
Not really.
123
00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:03,135
Interesting.
124
00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:08,575
Flying solo tonight.
My lookout guy went into rehab.
125
00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:09,809
It's kind of a pain.
126
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,377
It's really a two-person operation.
127
00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:12,645
Ugh, such a bummer when people
128
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:15,682
can't handle their heroin.
129
00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:18,918
Hey, max, what are you doing
tomorrow night after work?
130
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:20,653
Any desire to be my lookout guy?
131
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:23,022
I might have some desire
to be your lookout guy,
132
00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:25,358
but as far as the "guy"
part of "lookout guy" goes,
133
00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:26,359
full disclosure-
134
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:27,627
What, you don't have a penis?
135
00:05:27,628 --> 00:05:30,129
Oh, I have one.
136
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:32,398
In a drawer in my bedroom.
137
00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:38,905
If the cops come tomorrow,
138
00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:40,840
I will run like a girl.
139
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,309
Okay. So pick you up
at the diner at 2:00?
140
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:45,011
- Cool.
- Cool.
141
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:47,013
Cool.
142
00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:52,218
And then romeo left.
143
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:55,254
So romantic. All the weeks
of flirting and game playing
144
00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:56,689
have finally led to this-
145
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,791
You two on a late-night roof rendezvous.
146
00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:00,560
Hey, genius organizer,
147
00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:03,095
why don't you put all that
garbage in a file labeled
148
00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:06,265
"I've seen too many
katherine heigl movies"?
149
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:08,868
I'm just saying, he likes you.
150
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:12,572
He likes you with his penis.
151
00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:19,211
There. 3f.
152
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,747
All right. You're here.
153
00:06:20,748 --> 00:06:21,781
Goodbye. Go organize.
154
00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:23,382
No, I said you have to wait
155
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,351
until I open the door and
check out if it's safe.
156
00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:27,520
It's my day off.
You're the one with the job.
157
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:29,288
And you're the one who
freaked me out so much
158
00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:31,024
about going into
a stranger's apartment.
159
00:06:31,025 --> 00:06:32,625
What did I say that was so bad?
160
00:06:32,626 --> 00:06:34,393
You told me he'd cut off my face
161
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,729
and wear it as a party hat.
162
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,799
I said... "probably."
163
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,201
Probably cut off your face.
164
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:44,403
Nothing bad is gonna
happen to you, okay?
165
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,072
Okay.
166
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:47,874
It's a safe-enough
looking building, right?
167
00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:49,075
Yes.
168
00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,177
Look, they have those
hallway trash chutes.
169
00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:54,914
That's probably how he'll get
rid of your faceless body!
170
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,816
You're right. I'm fine. Go.
171
00:06:56,817 --> 00:07:00,119
Caroline's second job. So proud.
172
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,055
Call me if you freak out or anything.
173
00:07:02,056 --> 00:07:04,791
How am I gonna call you
without a face?
174
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:08,127
I'm fine. I'm not gonna call you.
175
00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:13,132
Hello, it's caroline,
the professional organizer.
176
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:21,674
Hello?
Someone called for an organizer?
177
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:27,080
Hello?
178
00:07:27,081 --> 00:07:29,616
Oh, no. Oh, hell no.
179
00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:31,550
Max, come back!
180
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:34,920
+
181
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:38,953
Hurry up. This is so exciting!
182
00:07:38,954 --> 00:07:40,054
What are you talking about?
183
00:07:40,055 --> 00:07:41,122
I'm not going back in there.
184
00:07:41,123 --> 00:07:42,557
He's a hoarder. A hoarder.
185
00:07:42,558 --> 00:07:43,792
It's a bad reality show.
186
00:07:43,793 --> 00:07:46,127
Hey, that is a great reality show.
187
00:07:46,128 --> 00:07:48,129
but it's not good reality reality.
188
00:07:48,130 --> 00:07:49,831
The only thing I
love more than hoarders
189
00:07:49,832 --> 00:07:53,902
are people who are too
fat to fit through doors.
190
00:07:53,903 --> 00:07:55,904
Tell me the hoarder has
to grease his sides
191
00:07:55,905 --> 00:07:57,105
to get through the door.
192
00:07:57,106 --> 00:08:01,676
You won't have to get
me a birthday present.
193
00:08:01,677 --> 00:08:05,246
Are you kidding me?
194
00:08:05,247 --> 00:08:09,017
They should charge admission for this.
195
00:08:09,018 --> 00:08:12,854
It's hoarders 3d- The experience.
196
00:08:12,855 --> 00:08:14,989
It's like going to an imax.
197
00:08:14,990 --> 00:08:16,357
It's my max!
198
00:08:16,358 --> 00:08:18,493
ooh!
199
00:08:18,494 --> 00:08:21,630
Save yourself. Go on without me.
200
00:08:21,631 --> 00:08:22,631
Oh, god.
201
00:08:22,632 --> 00:08:24,833
What is that pile over there?
202
00:08:24,834 --> 00:08:26,701
It's hard to tell what is what.
203
00:08:26,702 --> 00:08:29,103
It's either a- An old shag carpet
204
00:08:29,104 --> 00:08:31,640
or a mass grave of dead muppets.
205
00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:33,174
No way. Let's get out of here.
206
00:08:33,175 --> 00:08:35,276
We still have our faces.
Why would we leave?
207
00:08:35,277 --> 00:08:37,779
And besides, you need this money.
208
00:08:37,780 --> 00:08:38,947
Look around.
209
00:08:38,948 --> 00:08:40,449
There might be stuff
here they don't want
210
00:08:40,450 --> 00:08:41,716
that we can sell on ebay.
211
00:08:41,717 --> 00:08:44,152
Look. You know someone's
gonna want a fish tank
212
00:08:44,153 --> 00:08:45,821
full of doll heads.
213
00:08:45,822 --> 00:08:49,524
Yeah, someone with a fish
tank full of doll bodies.
214
00:08:49,525 --> 00:08:52,427
Last year I owned a yacht
named the caroliner,
215
00:08:52,428 --> 00:08:55,029
and now I'm considering
selling doll heads on ebay.
216
00:08:55,030 --> 00:08:57,332
I'll be organizing that
thought in a file in my head
217
00:08:57,333 --> 00:08:59,801
labeled "don't open ever."
218
00:08:59,802 --> 00:09:01,169
Okay.
219
00:09:01,170 --> 00:09:04,739
There's a heavy clown
presence in this room.
220
00:09:04,740 --> 00:09:08,443
It's unsettling,
and I'm obsessed with it.
221
00:09:08,444 --> 00:09:12,113
I want both more and less of the clowns.
222
00:09:12,114 --> 00:09:14,649
Um, hello? Anyone here?
223
00:09:14,650 --> 00:09:17,452
Oh, hey, i'm over here.
224
00:09:17,453 --> 00:09:19,253
I'm sorry. Where?
225
00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:20,689
By the papers.
226
00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:22,390
Which papers?
227
00:09:22,391 --> 00:09:24,325
The papers near the papers.
228
00:09:24,326 --> 00:09:28,864
Oh, my god. I love this!
229
00:09:28,865 --> 00:09:32,734
Um, hi. Caroline? We spoke yesterday.
230
00:09:32,735 --> 00:09:34,235
There's a lot more to organize here
231
00:09:34,236 --> 00:09:35,770
than you led me to believe on the phone,
232
00:09:35,771 --> 00:09:37,839
so we're gonna have to
renegotiate our price.
233
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:39,908
It's not that bad.
234
00:09:39,909 --> 00:09:41,543
Not that bad?
235
00:09:41,544 --> 00:09:43,512
I was hired to organized some papers,
236
00:09:43,513 --> 00:09:46,180
not clean up katrina.
237
00:09:46,181 --> 00:09:47,682
What's he look like?
238
00:09:47,683 --> 00:09:50,685
Please tell me he needs to
be buried in a piano box.
239
00:09:50,686 --> 00:09:52,888
I don't know. I can't
see him through the truck.
240
00:09:52,889 --> 00:09:55,891
It's an rv, and it's a collectible.
241
00:09:55,892 --> 00:09:59,661
It's where I keep my raisins.
242
00:09:59,662 --> 00:10:02,463
So how much more, then?
243
00:10:02,464 --> 00:10:05,366
Um, a hundred a day. For both of us.
244
00:10:05,367 --> 00:10:08,269
And we get to keep the horse
head made out of soda cans.
245
00:10:08,270 --> 00:10:09,604
Why would we want that?
246
00:10:09,605 --> 00:10:11,006
We don't. It's for chestnut.
247
00:10:11,007 --> 00:10:13,374
Every horse wants a
friend made out of cans.
248
00:10:13,375 --> 00:10:15,109
You got a deal.
249
00:10:15,110 --> 00:10:18,246
Okay. We'll get to work then.
250
00:10:18,247 --> 00:10:20,849
Okay. Let's not get overwhelmed.
251
00:10:20,850 --> 00:10:22,951
We'll take it one step at a time.
252
00:10:22,952 --> 00:10:24,686
Let's start small.
253
00:10:36,098 --> 00:10:38,733
Happy birthday to me.
254
00:10:46,141 --> 00:10:49,578
Whoo, max. Well, look at you.
255
00:10:49,579 --> 00:10:52,146
Starting the night at
the end of the night.
256
00:10:52,147 --> 00:10:54,049
This is the first time I've seen you
257
00:10:54,050 --> 00:10:56,685
out of the prison uniform.
258
00:10:56,686 --> 00:10:58,419
You look beautiful.
259
00:10:58,420 --> 00:11:00,789
Oh, earl, let's get married.
260
00:11:03,759 --> 00:11:06,194
What are you staring at?
It's just clothes.
261
00:11:06,195 --> 00:11:08,196
Max, you look like a lady.
262
00:11:08,197 --> 00:11:10,298
Tonight when I dream
of having sex with you,
263
00:11:10,299 --> 00:11:15,336
as always, this time I
will ask you to stay.
264
00:11:15,337 --> 00:11:17,939
Max, you look perfect for your date.
265
00:11:17,940 --> 00:11:20,141
- It's not a date.
- It is.
266
00:11:20,142 --> 00:11:22,243
No, it's not.
267
00:11:22,244 --> 00:11:25,780
It's booty call.
268
00:11:25,781 --> 00:11:28,182
There is a fresh, white billboard.
269
00:11:28,183 --> 00:11:29,383
I'm climbing it with my friend,
270
00:11:29,384 --> 00:11:30,652
and we're putting up his artwork.
271
00:11:30,653 --> 00:11:32,687
Booty call on billboard.
272
00:11:32,688 --> 00:11:34,522
If it's after 2:30,
273
00:11:34,523 --> 00:11:37,291
call is for the dirty.
274
00:11:37,292 --> 00:11:38,660
What's that from?
275
00:11:38,661 --> 00:11:42,864
Dr. Seuss' "oh,
the places you'll put it in"?
276
00:11:42,865 --> 00:11:43,999
Okay, boys, break it up.
277
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:45,600
Go about your business.
Nothing to see.
278
00:11:45,601 --> 00:11:48,003
Max.
279
00:11:48,004 --> 00:11:51,205
Max and johnny's first date.
So proud.
280
00:11:51,206 --> 00:11:52,573
It's not a date.
281
00:11:52,574 --> 00:11:55,744
Be home at 11:00... a.m.
282
00:11:55,745 --> 00:11:59,547
Uh, max, you got protection?
283
00:11:59,548 --> 00:12:01,016
No, I've got it.
284
00:12:01,017 --> 00:12:04,085
Me too.
285
00:12:04,086 --> 00:12:08,356
Oh, sorry. That is pack of gum.
286
00:12:16,732 --> 00:12:18,767
Can we take these masks off now?
287
00:12:18,768 --> 00:12:23,004
Whoo. It is hot up in that bunny.
288
00:12:23,005 --> 00:12:24,338
Are we wearing these
289
00:12:24,339 --> 00:12:25,740
so no one'll be able to
pick us out of a lineup?
290
00:12:25,741 --> 00:12:27,575
Yeah, that.
291
00:12:27,576 --> 00:12:30,411
And I always wanted to
see a rat with big boobs.
292
00:12:30,412 --> 00:12:34,115
Well, here he is.
293
00:12:34,116 --> 00:12:38,653
All right. Now for the most
crucial part of the art process,
294
00:12:38,654 --> 00:12:40,021
beer break.
295
00:12:40,022 --> 00:12:41,389
That makes sense.
296
00:12:41,390 --> 00:12:43,324
Been here four minutes.
297
00:12:43,325 --> 00:12:46,795
Hmm.
298
00:12:46,796 --> 00:12:50,131
Ooh. Gentleman.
299
00:12:50,132 --> 00:12:53,434
Look over there.
You can see manhattan.
300
00:12:53,435 --> 00:12:54,869
Oh, yeah.
301
00:12:54,870 --> 00:12:57,238
She's a bitch.
302
00:12:57,239 --> 00:12:59,174
Always shoving her stuff in your face.
303
00:12:59,175 --> 00:13:00,608
You can never have it.
304
00:13:00,609 --> 00:13:01,743
Yeah.
305
00:13:01,744 --> 00:13:03,511
I'd never want to live in manhattan.
306
00:13:03,512 --> 00:13:08,049
- 'Cause you can't afford it?
- Yeah.
307
00:13:08,050 --> 00:13:11,419
She is beautiful, though.
308
00:13:11,420 --> 00:13:13,454
Yeah, she is.
309
00:13:17,459 --> 00:13:19,627
Well, we should get back to work.
310
00:13:19,628 --> 00:13:21,529
Bunny's gotta hop.
311
00:13:31,220 --> 00:13:31,220
+
312
00:13:35,041 --> 00:13:36,708
How many more times
do you need to hear it?
313
00:13:36,709 --> 00:13:37,742
He didn't kiss me.
314
00:13:37,743 --> 00:13:39,278
Maybe it wasn't the right time.
315
00:13:39,279 --> 00:13:41,480
Overlooking the new york skyline,
316
00:13:41,481 --> 00:13:43,515
a hundred feet in the air,
bathed in moonlight?
317
00:13:43,516 --> 00:13:45,084
Yeah, that's a crappy time.
318
00:13:45,085 --> 00:13:46,585
Maybe he didn't want to make a move
319
00:13:46,586 --> 00:13:47,986
because he doesn't know you like him.
320
00:13:47,987 --> 00:13:50,655
I leaned in. I leaned for a kiss.
321
00:13:50,656 --> 00:13:52,791
Maybe you had a breath situation.
322
00:13:52,792 --> 00:13:54,059
What did you eat? What had you eaten?
323
00:13:54,060 --> 00:13:55,660
Nothing.
324
00:13:55,661 --> 00:13:57,696
Okay, but sometimes when
you don't eat, it's worse,
325
00:13:57,697 --> 00:13:59,398
because you start to
grind up your feelings.
326
00:13:59,399 --> 00:14:01,633
Then you get stomach breath.
327
00:14:01,634 --> 00:14:04,436
I wouldn't kiss ryan gosling
with stomach breath.
328
00:14:04,437 --> 00:14:07,406
- Yes, you would.
- Yes, I would.
329
00:14:07,407 --> 00:14:10,309
I'm finally making
progress on the papers.
330
00:14:10,310 --> 00:14:14,413
Oh, no, fdr died of polio.
331
00:14:14,414 --> 00:14:19,050
Oh, look. They cured polio.
332
00:14:19,051 --> 00:14:23,888
Jackpot. This place is
a freakin' cat factory.
333
00:14:23,889 --> 00:14:27,859
And they're alive. How refreshing.
334
00:14:27,860 --> 00:14:30,596
There's, like, 45 kittens in this box,
335
00:14:30,597 --> 00:14:33,599
and I think one of these
kittens just had kittens.
336
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:36,668
Kittens having kittens.
337
00:14:36,669 --> 00:14:38,470
Hey, douglas, we found some kittens.
338
00:14:38,471 --> 00:14:40,839
Those are not my kittens.
339
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:44,610
Okay. What about this mountain
of butterfinger wrappers?
340
00:14:44,611 --> 00:14:46,411
those are my wrappers.
341
00:14:46,412 --> 00:14:48,046
I need those.
342
00:14:48,047 --> 00:14:51,483
I haven't even seen him yet.
I love this show.
343
00:14:51,484 --> 00:14:53,218
Douglas, if you're comfortable
344
00:14:53,219 --> 00:14:55,887
with me selling all this
sort-of-valuable stuff on ebay,
345
00:14:55,888 --> 00:14:58,890
why do you need to keep a box
full of butterfinger wrappers?
346
00:14:58,891 --> 00:15:01,560
I don't want to think about it!
347
00:15:01,561 --> 00:15:03,462
See, max?
348
00:15:03,463 --> 00:15:05,830
This is what happens when you
don't deal with your feelings.
349
00:15:05,831 --> 00:15:07,966
You start collecting
butterfinger wrappers,
350
00:15:07,967 --> 00:15:09,901
and next thing you know you're
an old lady in a rest home,
351
00:15:09,902 --> 00:15:11,836
and you're thinking
"why didn't he kiss me?"
352
00:15:11,837 --> 00:15:14,973
why didn't he kiss me?
353
00:15:14,974 --> 00:15:17,176
I don't know.
354
00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:18,943
Why didn't you kiss him?
355
00:15:18,944 --> 00:15:21,079
You obviously like him, right?
356
00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:23,515
Max, stop hoarding your feelings.
357
00:15:23,516 --> 00:15:25,184
Just admit that you like him.
358
00:15:25,185 --> 00:15:26,718
I like him.
359
00:15:26,719 --> 00:15:27,952
Okay, good.
360
00:15:27,953 --> 00:15:29,988
There's one box of
butterfinger wrappers gone.
361
00:15:29,989 --> 00:15:32,691
What?
362
00:15:32,692 --> 00:15:35,527
Douglas, it's a metaphor.
363
00:15:35,528 --> 00:15:38,363
So next time you see him,
why don't you just kiss him?
364
00:15:38,364 --> 00:15:40,332
I don't know if I can kiss him first.
365
00:15:40,333 --> 00:15:44,670
Just kiss him already!
366
00:15:44,671 --> 00:15:47,539
Wait, there's another person in here?
367
00:15:47,540 --> 00:15:48,674
Butt out, ma.
368
00:15:48,675 --> 00:15:51,577
Those are my kittens, young lady.
369
00:15:51,578 --> 00:15:54,379
Hold up. He's hoarding
another hoarder in here?
370
00:15:54,380 --> 00:15:57,216
Awesome.
371
00:16:01,987 --> 00:16:03,088
I can't believe you put
372
00:16:03,089 --> 00:16:05,290
the platypus foot rest in the trash.
373
00:16:05,291 --> 00:16:08,093
On ebay we could get at least
three to six dollars for it.
374
00:16:08,094 --> 00:16:09,728
I'm gonna tell you this one more time.
375
00:16:09,729 --> 00:16:13,164
It's a opossum, and it died at
least three to six years ago.
376
00:16:13,165 --> 00:16:15,567
Oh, my god. There's johnny.
377
00:16:15,568 --> 00:16:18,570
This is a katherine heigl movie.
378
00:16:18,571 --> 00:16:24,543
What are you guys doing
in this neighborhood?
379
00:16:24,544 --> 00:16:26,712
Oh, hello. Sorry to interrupt you,
380
00:16:26,713 --> 00:16:28,480
but what the hell's going on here?
381
00:16:28,481 --> 00:16:30,582
This is, uh...
382
00:16:30,583 --> 00:16:32,183
I'm cassandra, his girlfriend.
383
00:16:32,184 --> 00:16:34,553
Who are you?
384
00:16:38,558 --> 00:16:44,129
I'm max, and, um,
that's how I say hi to everyone.
385
00:16:44,130 --> 00:16:46,898
I'm incredibly friendly.
386
00:16:46,899 --> 00:16:50,135
She's so friendly.
387
00:16:53,239 --> 00:16:54,573
Here's table ten, earl.
388
00:16:54,574 --> 00:16:56,275
Are you okay, max?
389
00:16:56,276 --> 00:16:58,443
Rumor has it that you
had your heart broken.
390
00:16:58,444 --> 00:17:00,111
I didn't have my heart broken.
391
00:17:00,112 --> 00:17:03,348
And that's why I
don't listen to rumors.
392
00:17:03,349 --> 00:17:06,451
Max, I want to announce
I have ended my bromance
393
00:17:06,452 --> 00:17:08,186
with your boyfriend, johnny.
394
00:17:08,187 --> 00:17:11,189
I hate the player as well as the game.
395
00:17:11,190 --> 00:17:14,393
Never was my boyfriend.
396
00:17:15,561 --> 00:17:19,631
I would like to offer
myself for rebound sex.
397
00:17:19,632 --> 00:17:22,501
Or, if not, I can just
beat the crap out of him.
398
00:17:25,471 --> 00:17:27,773
Caroline, did you
have to tell everyone?
399
00:17:27,774 --> 00:17:30,409
I'm sorry, but I'm not
keeping that up in my head.
400
00:17:30,410 --> 00:17:32,477
I'm not going butterfingers.
401
00:17:35,682 --> 00:17:38,317
I can't believe he has a girlfriend.
402
00:17:38,318 --> 00:17:39,484
Are you happy now?
403
00:17:39,485 --> 00:17:40,885
You got me to admit that I like him,
404
00:17:40,886 --> 00:17:42,086
and then you got me to kiss him.
405
00:17:42,087 --> 00:17:43,855
And then I kissed his
beautiful girlfriend,
406
00:17:43,856 --> 00:17:45,324
who is black and british,
407
00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:48,627
the two cool things I can never be.
408
00:17:48,628 --> 00:17:50,696
I'm sorry, but he led you on.
409
00:17:50,697 --> 00:17:51,896
Oh, did he?
410
00:17:51,897 --> 00:17:54,165
I think you and douglas'
mother led me on.
411
00:17:56,436 --> 00:17:58,002
This is not my fault.
412
00:17:58,003 --> 00:17:59,904
He's the one who's hoarding women.
413
00:18:03,376 --> 00:18:05,143
Hi.
414
00:18:05,144 --> 00:18:09,080
Yeah, you must be to come back in here.
415
00:18:09,081 --> 00:18:11,149
Can we talk?
416
00:18:11,150 --> 00:18:12,250
Pick up, max.
417
00:18:12,251 --> 00:18:13,251
Table three, table nine.
418
00:18:13,252 --> 00:18:16,120
Table 69.
419
00:18:16,121 --> 00:18:18,490
Not a good time.
420
00:18:18,491 --> 00:18:20,459
- Max, look...
- Johnny, stop.
421
00:18:20,460 --> 00:18:21,860
You don't need to "max, look" me.
422
00:18:21,861 --> 00:18:23,995
It's cool. You never led me on.
423
00:18:23,996 --> 00:18:25,731
You never put your hands on me.
424
00:18:25,732 --> 00:18:28,299
You never even kissed me.
425
00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:29,735
Food!
426
00:18:29,736 --> 00:18:32,203
Hey, better make sure he
doesn't have a girlfriend
427
00:18:32,204 --> 00:18:36,040
who's beautiful, black, and british.
428
00:18:36,041 --> 00:18:38,176
Max, look, I wanted to kiss you.
429
00:18:38,177 --> 00:18:39,344
I want to kiss you.
430
00:18:39,345 --> 00:18:40,912
I just didn't want to
be the guy who did it
431
00:18:40,913 --> 00:18:42,614
when he's with someone else.
432
00:18:42,615 --> 00:18:44,949
Look, max, I didn't know you
were gonna come into my life.
433
00:18:44,950 --> 00:18:47,018
I didn't know I was gonna
have these feelings for you,
434
00:18:47,019 --> 00:18:49,454
but all of a sudden it's "max"
all the time in my head.
435
00:18:49,455 --> 00:18:53,258
Cassandra and I have or-or had something,
436
00:18:53,259 --> 00:18:55,761
and there is or was love there,
437
00:18:55,762 --> 00:18:58,897
and-and I don't know
what I'm supposed to do
438
00:18:58,898 --> 00:19:00,231
with all my feelings for you.
439
00:19:00,232 --> 00:19:02,567
Johnny, I just spent two days
440
00:19:02,568 --> 00:19:04,235
wading through someone else's garbage,
441
00:19:04,236 --> 00:19:07,038
and, quite frankly,
I don't have the time or the energy
442
00:19:07,039 --> 00:19:09,207
to go through all the
clowns and candy wrappers
443
00:19:09,208 --> 00:19:11,410
you've got going on up in there.
444
00:19:11,411 --> 00:19:13,244
And the next time you invite someone
445
00:19:13,245 --> 00:19:14,646
to a booty call on a billboard...
446
00:19:14,647 --> 00:19:16,147
It wasn't a booty call.
447
00:19:16,148 --> 00:19:17,449
I think everyone knows
448
00:19:17,450 --> 00:19:21,453
if it's after 2:30,
the call is for the dirty.
449
00:19:21,454 --> 00:19:24,389
And p.s., we've known
each other six months,
450
00:19:24,390 --> 00:19:26,625
and you never told me
you had a girlfriend.
451
00:19:26,626 --> 00:19:30,729
You should have worn the rat mask.
452
00:19:30,730 --> 00:19:33,164
And that's all she wrote.
453
00:19:40,907 --> 00:19:42,841
Silver lining time?
454
00:19:42,842 --> 00:19:43,942
We didn't have to change
455
00:19:43,943 --> 00:19:46,010
douglas and his mother's diapers?
456
00:19:46,011 --> 00:19:48,179
We made $240 for the cupcake business
457
00:19:48,180 --> 00:19:50,281
selling all that crap on ebay.
458
00:19:50,282 --> 00:19:54,319
Yup. I made some money,
and all I lost was my mind.
459
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,254
Want to hear something
you don't want to hear?
460
00:19:56,255 --> 00:19:59,190
I think what johnny said
to you was beautiful.
461
00:19:59,191 --> 00:20:02,293
You think a squirrel holding
an acorn is beautiful.
462
00:20:02,294 --> 00:20:03,528
He didn't touch you or kiss you
463
00:20:03,529 --> 00:20:05,296
because he didn't want
to start a relationship
464
00:20:05,297 --> 00:20:06,297
with you out of a lie.
465
00:20:06,298 --> 00:20:07,866
You know what? You're right.
466
00:20:07,867 --> 00:20:09,267
You've been right all along.
467
00:20:09,268 --> 00:20:10,669
It is like romeo and juliet.
468
00:20:10,670 --> 00:20:13,839
And now I'm gonna go
home and kill myself.
469
00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:16,140
I don't think romance
is in the cards for me.
470
00:20:16,141 --> 00:20:18,977
I give guys blue balls,
not broken hearts.
471
00:20:18,978 --> 00:20:21,880
Oh, my god. Don't kill
yourself yet, juliet.
472
00:20:21,881 --> 00:20:25,350
I definitely think
romance is in your cards.
473
00:20:25,351 --> 00:20:27,151
That's not me.
474
00:20:27,152 --> 00:20:29,287
That's not his girlfriend.
475
00:20:29,288 --> 00:20:32,190
Come on, will you at least
admit that that's you
476
00:20:32,191 --> 00:20:33,825
and that he put it up there
because he wanted you to see it?
477
00:20:33,826 --> 00:20:36,327
And that's actually incredibly romantic.
478
00:20:36,328 --> 00:20:38,497
Oh, yeah. That's the
most romantic picture
479
00:20:38,498 --> 00:20:39,998
of a guy who might be kissing someone
480
00:20:39,999 --> 00:20:41,332
who might look like me,
481
00:20:41,333 --> 00:20:43,802
but he didn't because he has
a hot british girlfriend
482
00:20:43,803 --> 00:20:45,003
who seems like kind of a bitch,
483
00:20:45,004 --> 00:20:47,205
but is kind of cooler
than I will ever be.
484
00:20:47,206 --> 00:20:50,008
I dare you to organize that thought.
485
00:20:50,009 --> 00:20:52,410
There's no one cooler than you.
486
00:20:52,411 --> 00:20:54,513
You're 200 feet tall.
487
00:20:54,514 --> 00:20:57,582
Yeah, and a bird
just took a crap on me.
488
00:20:57,583 --> 00:20:59,684
Come on.
489
00:21:02,221 --> 00:21:05,023
Come on.
490
00:21:05,024 --> 00:21:10,801
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