1 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:03,760 At Birmingham East, 2 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:06,309 the Returning Officer is declaring the result. 3 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:10,189 James George Hacker: 21,793. 4 00:00:11,040 --> 00:00:13,873 Arthur William Gaunt: 19,321. 5 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:18,272 So Jim Hacker's back, and after many years as a Shadow Minister 6 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:21,671 seems almost certain to get a post in the new Government. 7 00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:13,916 - I haven't had a call yet. - Who from? 8 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:16,674 - Our new Prime Minister. - What do you expect? 9 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:19,115 The car's only just got back from the Palace. 10 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,232 Any moment now, then. 11 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:24,633 So who was on the phone? 12 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:27,356 Frank Wiesel. He's coming right over. 13 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:29,317 Why doesn't he just move in? 14 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,034 Annie, he's my political adviser. 15 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:35,192 - I depend on him. - Why don't you marry him? 16 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:38,238 Darling, you do over- react to everything, so. 17 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:39,594 Here we are! 18 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:43,158 Jim Hacker... yes. Oh, it's you. 19 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,197 Yes, was a good party. 20 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,472 Yes, I've got a bit of a headache... I will ring you back. 21 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:51,950 I'm waiting fora rather important call... bye bye. 22 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:55,917 Alderman Spottiswood. 23 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:59,752 I wish people wouldn't ring to congratulate me. 24 00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:01,717 I'm waiting forthe call. 25 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:03,996 It's as if you're about to enterthe Ministry. 26 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:05,991 Yes, but which Ministry, that's the point. 27 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,474 Itwas a joke! 28 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:09,752 Oh, I see. 29 00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:15,835 - Are you very tense? - No, I'm not. 30 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,639 A politician's wife is not allowed to. 31 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:21,189 A happy carefree politician's wife. 32 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:26,754 - What are you looking for? - A cigarette. 33 00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:28,239 Try the cigarette box. 34 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,470 - It's empty. - Take a librium. 35 00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:34,189 I can't find it, that's why I'm looking fora cigarette. 36 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:38,875 Oh, Jim, I've had it. Would you pop out and get some? 37 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:41,429 Sorry, I daren't leave the phone. 38 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:44,592 If the PM wants you to be in the cabinet, 39 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:47,354 he'll phone back. Oryou can phone back. 40 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:50,990 I ran the campaign against the PM forthe leadership. 41 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:54,436 - Lf I'm out, well, who knows. - I could take a message. 42 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:57,715 There it is. 43 00:02:59,640 --> 00:03:01,392 Hello... yes, speaking... 44 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,797 Oh, it's you Michael... 45 00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:06,676 I haven't had a call, have you? 46 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:08,273 Bill's had a call? 47 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,596 What's he got? Europe? 48 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:13,274 - Bill's got Europe. - Lucky Europe. 49 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:17,675 - Does Bill speak French? - He can hardly speak English. 50 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:21,756 I'll call you back if I hear anything. Right... Bye. 51 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:28,199 Fingers crossed. 52 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:30,351 Hello... Yes, speaking... 53 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:32,998 The Gas Board. 54 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:37,789 Good Lord man, thatwas weeks ago. 55 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,838 I'm waiting fora rather important call... 56 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:45,833 Look, there happened to be a general election yesterday... 57 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:49,078 You voted forthe otherside, did you? 58 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:52,710 How did you get to the polling booth on the right day? 59 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:55,997 With two assistants, three return visits forspare parts? 60 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:58,151 Look, Mr. Franklin... Frankly Franklin, 61 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:01,278 I don't care if the heating system collapses in ruins. 62 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:04,000 I've got to get off this phone, goodbye. 63 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:05,428 They won't come now. 64 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:08,353 If I get ConsumerAffairs, they'll come. 65 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:11,033 Hello? 66 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:12,792 Hello? Hello? 67 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:16,077 Darling, thatwas the front doorbell. 68 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,399 It'll be Frank. 69 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,074 - Martin's got the Foreign Office. - Has he? 70 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,151 Jack's got Health and Fred's got Energy. 71 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,788 - Has anyone got Brains? - Do you mean Education? 72 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:31,791 No, I knowwhat I mean. 73 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:34,918 - What's left? What have I got? - Rhythm? 74 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:39,273 Frank, I have heard absolutely nothing, 75 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:41,271 not that it's surprising. 76 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:43,715 My whole career is going down the drain 77 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:47,429 because the PM is unable to reach me on the telephone. 78 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,797 You get it, darling. 79 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:56,595 - Hello. - Hello, this is the BBC. 80 00:04:56,760 --> 00:05:00,833 Would Mr. Hacker like to be interviewed on the PM program? 81 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,911 - PM? - PM? 82 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:05,714 Jim Hackerhere... 83 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:08,235 Are you available this afternoon? 84 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:09,992 Yes. Any time you like. 85 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,630 Could we interview you? 86 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,870 I'd been hoping you'd call. 87 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:18,358 What job do you think you're likely to get? 88 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:20,633 I beg yourpardon? 89 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,834 What job do you think you're likely to get? 90 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,510 That's foryou to tell me. 91 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:30,997 - What? - Well, it's not up to me to say. 92 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:34,596 That's forthe PM to say. You're the PM's office... 93 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:39,394 Oh, I see. The BBC PM office! 94 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:44,397 How silly, what a silly mistake, Yes... yes. Good bye. 95 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:47,878 I did try and tell you. 96 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,875 You answerthe bloody thing. 97 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:55,272 Hello... 98 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:57,757 Mrs. Hackerspeaking. 99 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:02,232 Oh, congratulations, "Prime Minister". It's Annie here. 100 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:04,676 Give me that phone. 101 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,953 Hello... Yes... Prime Minister. 102 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:10,669 Yes, of course... Yes, I... 103 00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:12,034 Righto. 104 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,395 I'll be on the next train. 105 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:23,872 Top tip forAdministrative Affairs is Jim Hacker. 106 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:28,113 Kenneth, isn't he on the young side fora Cabinet post? 107 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:31,551 Yes, well, he's in his late forties. 108 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:34,280 But it's certainly a jump up forhim. 109 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,396 On the otherhand, this department's been 110 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:39,393 a bit of a political graveyard recently. 111 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,476 A furthergroup of Cabinet appointments 112 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:47,756 has nowbeen announced from Number Ten. 113 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:51,754 The Ministry of Administrative Affairs goes toJim Hacker, 114 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:54,480 the formerShadow Minister forAgricultura. 115 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,868 - Good afternoon, Minister. - Good afternoon. 116 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:07,349 Bernard Wooley, Principal Private Secretary. 117 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:10,432 Mr. Lloyd Pritchard, Assistant Private Secretary. 118 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:14,673 - This is my political adviser... - Oh yes, of course, Mr. Weasel. 119 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:16,478 Wiesel. 120 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:30,671 I was the Minister's Principal Private Secretary 121 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:32,193 in the last goverment. 122 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:33,634 However if you... 123 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:38,237 - I'm sure you'll be just the thing. - Thank you, Minister, howkind. 124 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:44,390 - Where are we all going to? - You are going to youroffice. 125 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,952 What about Frank? 126 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:50,915 - Where's Frank? - He's being taken care of. 127 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:54,354 - Would you wait here? - This is the Waiting Room. 128 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:57,159 - Precisely, sir. - I'm Jim Hacker's adviser. 129 00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:59,515 He has a whole department to advise him. 130 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,318 - He needs me. - Of course. 131 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,199 But until he sends foryou, please, wait. 132 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:09,678 A sherry Minister? 133 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:10,955 Jim. 134 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:12,599 Oh Gin. 135 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:15,308 No, no, Jim, Jim. Call me Jim. 136 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:20,270 I would preferto call you Minister, Minister. 137 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,591 Minister, Minister? 138 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:24,716 Oh quite, quite. I see what you mean. 139 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:27,997 Do I have to call you Private Secretary, Private Secretary? 140 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,868 - No. Do call me Bernard. - Thank you, Bernard. 141 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:34,237 You're mostwelcome. Yourhealth, Minister. 142 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:37,712 Well what now? 143 00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:42,079 Allowme to present Sir Humphrey Appleby, 144 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:45,118 Permanent UnderSecretary of State and Head of the D.A.A. 145 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:47,430 - Hello, Sir Humphrey. - Hello, and welcome. 146 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:50,160 - Thank you. - I believe you know each other. 147 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:54,871 Yes, we did cross swords in the Public Accounts Committee. 148 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:56,109 I wouldn't say that. 149 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:58,510 You came up with all the questions. 150 00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:00,636 Opposition's about asking questions. 151 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:02,870 And Government's about not answering them. 152 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:04,713 You answered mine. 153 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:06,672 I'm glad you thought so. 154 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,313 Good luck. 155 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:15,277 - Who else is in this Department? - I am the Permanent UnderSecretary 156 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:17,271 known as the Permanent Secretary. 157 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:20,637 Wolley is your Principal Private Secretary. 158 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:23,837 And I too have a Principal Private Secretary. 159 00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:27,433 Directly responsible to me are 10 Deputy Secretaries 160 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:31,388 87 UnderSecretaries, and 219 Assistant Secretaries. 161 00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:32,913 Responsible to the PPS 162 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:35,514 are Parliamentary Private Secretaries. 163 00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:38,797 The PM will be appointing two Parliamentary UnderSecretaries, 164 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,599 and you will appoint yourown Parliamentary Private Secretary. 165 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:44,798 Can they all type? 166 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:47,559 None of us can type. 167 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:49,199 Mrs. McKay types. 168 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:51,551 She is the Secretary. 169 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:54,356 Pity we could have opened an agency. 170 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:56,590 - Very droll, sir. - Yes, very very amusing. 171 00:09:56,760 --> 00:10:00,116 - I suppose they all say that. - Certainly not, Minister. 172 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:02,032 Not quite all. 173 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:04,470 Right, now then, to business. 174 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:09,836 Forgive me if I'm a bit blunt, but that's the sort of chap I am... 175 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:11,798 Frankly, this depart... 176 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,598 This chair's a bit... 177 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:15,637 We can change it, Minister. 178 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:19,031 We can change the furniture, decor, office routine... 179 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:22,112 - Yourwish is ourcommand. - I'd like a new chair. 180 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:23,474 Hate swivel chairs. 181 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:26,632 Two kinds of chairs to go with the two kinds of Minister. 182 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:28,472 One sort folds up instantly, 183 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:31,552 the othersort goes round and round in circles. 184 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:39,598 Now, frankly this Department has got to cut 185 00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:43,309 a great swathe through all this stuffy Whitehall bureaucracy. 186 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:45,914 We're going to throw open the windows, 187 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:48,799 let in a bit of fresh air, cut through all the red tape, 188 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,554 streamline this creaking old bureaucratic machine. 189 00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:54,154 - You mean a clean sweep? - A clean sweep. 190 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:57,630 Fartoo many people just sitting behind desks. 191 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:02,399 Not like us, of course. 192 00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:05,199 Butwe've got to get rid of all those people. 193 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,874 - Get rid of them? - "Redeploy them". 194 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:11,316 Yes. Good Lord no, I don't mean put them out of work. 195 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,233 Open Government, that's what my partybelieves in, 196 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,436 thatwas the main plank of ourmanifesto. 197 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:18,989 Taking the nation into ourconfidence. 198 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:22,357 Nowhow does that strike you? Do sit down. 199 00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:25,432 Just as you said in the House on May 2nd last year, 200 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,192 and again on November 23rd, 201 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:30,033 and in The Observer and in The Daily Mail, 202 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,350 and as yourmanifesto made clear. 203 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:34,033 You know about that? 204 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,760 Please, have a look at these proposals. 205 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:40,037 These are the ways to implement this policy 206 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,078 and proposals fora white paper foryourapproval. 207 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:46,118 The white papermight be called "Open Government". 208 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:50,715 - You mean it's all been... - Taken care of, Minister. 209 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:55,112 - Who did all this? - The old bureaucratic machine. 210 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:56,872 No, quite seriously. 211 00:11:57,680 --> 00:12:00,240 We are seized of the need forreform. 212 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:03,836 - And we have taken it on board. - I'm rathersurprised. 213 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,753 I expected to have to fight you with this. 214 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:09,229 People do have funny ideas about the Civil Service. 215 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:12,233 We're just here to implement yourpolicies. 216 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:15,631 "Proposals forshortening approval procedures in planning appeals"? 217 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:19,839 Hansard Volume 497, page 1102, Column B. 218 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,433 Quote "Mr. Hacker: 219 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:24,160 Is the Ministeraware that planning procedures 220 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:26,151 make building a bungalow in the 20th century 221 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:29,118 slowerthan building a cathedral in the 12th century? 222 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,919 Opposition laughter and Government cries of shame". 223 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:36,073 - They didn't actually cry shame. - Quite so, Minister. 224 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:41,070 - Right, I think that's it then? - There are two more things... 225 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:44,232 This is yourdiary fornextweek, Minister. 226 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:46,834 My diary? You didn't know I was coming. 227 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,672 Norwho'd win the election. 228 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:52,116 - There'd be a Minister, Minister. - Don't start that again. 229 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,509 Even though we didn't know itwould be you. 230 00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:58,240 Her Majesty does like the business of government 231 00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:00,960 to continue even when there are no politicians around. 232 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:04,351 - Bit difficult surely? - Yes... and no. 233 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:08,718 It's a busy week. Nine cabinet committees, 234 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:10,950 the Annual dinner of the Law Institute. 235 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:12,348 You will have to make a speech. 236 00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:15,717 Deputation from the British ComputerAssociation. 237 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:18,599 Opening the National Union of Public Employers meeting. 238 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,115 - Anotherspeech... - Wait a minute... 239 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:24,192 - What about all the otherthings? - What otherthings? 240 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:26,476 I'm on fourpolicy committees forthe party. 241 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:29,632 You won'twant to be putting partybefore country. 242 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:31,873 No, no, of course not. 243 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:34,918 I'll just fetch yourboxes, Minister. 244 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:36,274 Boxes? Already. 245 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:40,228 The last Ministerhad some work throughout the campaign, 246 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,631 but I fear... well, it's not forme to criticise... 247 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:47,076 - What do you mean? - It's a harsh thing to say. 248 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:51,995 Some of the boxes actually came back with the work not done. 249 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:56,155 If you complete the first four by Saturday, 250 00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:58,959 yourdriverwill deliver the othertwo. 251 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:03,239 Villa's at home to Liverpool. 252 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,516 And I've got a surgery on Saturday. 253 00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:09,468 If we minimise it, you need only take the majorpolicy decisions. 254 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:13,155 No, no. No. No. I take all the decisions round here. 255 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:16,949 Now then what time shall I come in on Monday? 256 00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:19,190 You'll catch the 7.45 train from New Street, 257 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:22,079 and yourdriver will meet you at Euston. 258 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:25,277 If I could just put in these draft proposals. 259 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:28,432 And here, this is yourkey, Minister. 260 00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:30,477 Out of my way. I've had enough of this. 261 00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:32,710 - You can't go in there. - Just try and stop me. 262 00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:35,758 - Jim, what's going on? - Frank, where've you been? 263 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:39,469 - Stuck in the waiting room. - We are in private conference. 264 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:42,757 - Then I should be here, too. - Calm down, Frank. 265 00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:46,469 Humphrey, Frank has got to have an office ofhis own. 266 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:48,471 - Certainly, if you insist. - I do insist. 267 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:53,270 I do think we have some spare office space in Walthamstow. 268 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,716 - Walthamstow? - Yes, it's surprising. 269 00:14:57,880 --> 00:14:59,757 The Government owns property all over London. 270 00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:02,593 - I don'twant to be there. - It's in a very nice part. 271 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:05,832 Walthamstow's a very nice place so I gather. 272 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,911 - I need an office here. - Why's that? 273 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:09,718 Yes, I agree with Frank. 274 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:13,072 Bernard, we must find an office here for Mr. Weasel. 275 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:14,593 Wiesel. 276 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:18,633 Copies of all the papers that come to me go to Frank. 277 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:19,800 - All? - All. 278 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,632 It shall be done. 279 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:24,189 All the appropriate papers. 280 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:35,630 How's yournew Minister, Humphrey? 281 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,109 Learning the rules very quicklyfora newboy. 282 00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:40,475 - How's yournew Cabinet? - No problem. 283 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,710 Similarto the last one. 284 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:47,355 Arnold, I hearthe American Ambassador's been spending 285 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:49,670 a lot of time with the PM. 286 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:51,592 - Yes. - Defence ortrade? 287 00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:52,875 Both. 288 00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:54,996 The aerospace systems contract? 289 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:58,311 Ssh. Don'twant the cabinet to hearabout it yet. 290 00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:02,393 This aerospace thingumy would be 291 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:04,915 rathera coup forthe PM, wouldn't it? 292 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:08,390 Yes, now the new PM will take the credit. 293 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:10,915 Sorry to intrude SirArnold, Sir Humphrey, 294 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:13,753 if you could just OK the Minister's speech, 295 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:15,717 I can get it straight to the House. 296 00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:18,269 Yes, of course. Like to join us? 297 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:21,955 Oh, thank you, so long as I'm not too long. 298 00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,111 Get yourself a cup of coffee. 299 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:31,072 So itwould be rather an embarrassment to the PM, 300 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:35,233 wouldn't it? if a hypothetical Ministerwere to rock 301 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:37,391 the Anglo American boat? 302 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:39,152 Grave embarrassment. 303 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:40,469 How grave? 304 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:42,915 Man overboard, I should think. 305 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:47,672 Enough to cut short a promising new Ministerial career? 306 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,432 No question. 307 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:56,358 Pull up a chair, Bernard... 308 00:16:56,520 --> 00:17:00,274 And tell us what you think of ournew Minister. 309 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,192 Well absolutelyfine. 310 00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:06,638 Yes, we'll have him housetrained in no time. 311 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:08,837 He swallowed the whole diary, 312 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,878 and I gatherhe did his boxes like a lamb lastweekend? 313 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:13,075 Yes. Yes he did. 314 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,879 We must head him off this Open Government nonsense. 315 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:19,192 We were calling the White Paper "Open Government". 316 00:17:19,360 --> 00:17:22,432 Always dispose of the difficult bit in the title. 317 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:24,830 Does less harm there than in the text. 318 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,309 The less you intend to do about something, 319 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,471 the more you have to talk about it. 320 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:32,029 What's wrong with open government? 321 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:35,351 Why shouldn't the public know more about what's going on? 322 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:37,757 Are you serious? 323 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:42,868 Well, I mean it's the Minister's policy, afterall. 324 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,270 It's a contradiction in terms. 325 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,715 You can be open oryou can have government. 326 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:53,193 But surely the citizens of a democracy have a right to know. 327 00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:56,670 No. They have a right to be ignorant. 328 00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:59,236 Knowledge only means complicity and guilt. 329 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,436 Ignorance has a certain dignity. 330 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,192 But if the Ministerwants... 331 00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:05,430 You don't just give people what they want, 332 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:07,352 if it's not good forthem. 333 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:10,273 Do you give brandy to an alcoholic? 334 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:14,356 Thatway people don't know what you are doing wrong. 335 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:20,674 I am the Minister's Private Secretary, and ifhe wants... 336 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:24,913 You must not help him to make a fool ofhimself. 337 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:26,877 Look at the Ministers we've had. 338 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:30,032 They would have been a laughing stock 339 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:34,591 had it not been forthe most rigid secrecy about theirdoings. 340 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,196 What do you propose to do? 341 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:41,189 - Can you keep a secret? - Of course. 342 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,158 So can I. 343 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,833 Excuse me, I have to make a phone call. 344 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:56,958 Well, I'd betterbe getting this back to the Minister. 345 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:03,030 Martin. Has the weasel had a copy of the invoice 346 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,555 forthe new American addressing machines? 347 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:07,915 I thought you said it was sensitive. 348 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:10,355 So it is. Get it to him today. 349 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:15,548 Oh, and Martin, let him find it nearthe bottom of the pile. 350 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:22,354 Jim, Jim. 351 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:24,351 - Yes. - Look what I've found. 352 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:27,990 We've got them by the short and curlies. 353 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:30,754 We've got Sir Humphrey Bloody Appleby 354 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,070 and Mr. Toffee Nosed Snooty Wolley 355 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,708 just where we want them. See this? 356 00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:38,110 This innocent-looking piece of paper. 357 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:40,157 Political dynamite. 358 00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:42,880 Calm down. What are you talking about? 359 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:48,596 This is an invoice for 1.000 computervideo display terminals. 360 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:53,038 At 10.000 pounds each, that is, ten milion pounds. 361 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:54,713 So? 362 00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:59,478 Made by the Pittsburgh Manufacturing Corporation Inc., 363 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:02,359 - Imported from America? - I know. 364 00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:05,080 Butwe make computerperipherals in this country. 365 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,708 - In my constituency. - I know! 366 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,195 - What about unemployment? - I know! 367 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:12,877 This must be stopped. 368 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:19,237 - Sir Humphrey to see... oh sorry. - Oh no. No, come in. 369 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,516 I want to see you both, come on. 370 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,318 Sir Humphrey, take a seat. 371 00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:24,799 Thank you, Minister. 372 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:28,714 Now then, Frank here has just discovered this contract 373 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:31,633 forthe import of ten million pound's worth 374 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,109 of video display terminals, from America. 375 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:35,872 May I see? 376 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:41,751 Oh yes. Forthe whole Civil Service in Whitehall. 377 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:44,794 - But they're not British. - That is true. 378 00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:47,998 - We make them in this country. - Not of the same quality. 379 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,833 Betterquality. In my constituency. 380 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:55,189 - We were advised... - This contract must be stopped. 381 00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:59,478 It's beyond my power. This can only be cancelled by the Treasury. 382 00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:00,675 Why's that? 383 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:03,877 Would be a majorpolicy change forthe Civil Service 384 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:07,237 to cancel contracts, especially with overseas suppliers. 385 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,072 If you'd like to take it up with the Cabinet. 386 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,959 How am I to face my constituency party? 387 00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:14,431 Why need they know? 388 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:16,875 Why need anybody know? 389 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,030 We can see that it nevergets out. 390 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,794 - Open Government. - That's right. 391 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:25,952 - It must be published. - That's right. 392 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:28,108 Why? 393 00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,118 Well... er... 394 00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:32,796 - Why, Frank? - The manifesto. 395 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:35,349 And yourpredecessor will look like a traitor. 396 00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:38,751 - Two unanswerable reasons. - You didn't bargain forthis! 397 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:40,512 You're not suggesting 398 00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:44,309 that the Ministershould make a positive reference 399 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:47,870 to this confidential transaction in a speech? 400 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,198 Speech. That's it. 401 00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:54,717 Jim, what about the speech to the Union of office Employees? 402 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,678 I'll tell them about this scandalous contract. 403 00:21:57,840 --> 00:21:59,671 And we'll release it to the press today. 404 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,831 - Who's running the country now? - Well... yes. 405 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,956 - You object? - It might be regrettable, 406 00:22:04,120 --> 00:22:06,998 - if we upset the Americans. - The Americans. 407 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,913 It's time they lose theircommercial complacency. 408 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,834 We must think of the British poor, not the American rich! 409 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,797 If that is yourexpress wish, 410 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,918 the Departmentwill back you, up to the hilt. 411 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:20,399 That is my express wish. 412 00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:23,677 I'd bettercirculate the speech forclearance. 413 00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:26,070 It does not involve any otherdepartment. 414 00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:30,597 Open Government demands thatwe include ourcolleagues, 415 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:33,115 as well as ourfriends in Fleet Street. 416 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:36,033 - Oh yes, that's fairenough. - I'm not sure. 417 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,395 Thank you. And Humphrey... 418 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:40,949 See that goes straight to the press. 419 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:44,479 We shall serve yourbest interests. 420 00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:46,435 Thank you. 421 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:48,913 Now then... 422 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:51,672 Let me see. 423 00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:58,274 We've made a pledge to the people about open government. 424 00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:00,317 So let's have some. 425 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:03,711 I have discovered that the previous government 426 00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:07,555 signed a contract to import office equipment 427 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,473 - foruse by the Civil Service... - Bureaucracy! 428 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:13,029 Used by the Civil Service bureaucracy. 429 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:16,749 So, we are being fobbed off with second rate American junk 430 00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:19,673 by smart Aleck salesmen from Pittsburgh 431 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:22,274 while British factories stand empty 432 00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:25,273 and British workmen queue up forthe dole. 433 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:29,149 - Unemployment benefit. - The dole, Bernard. 434 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:34,997 "Much as I personally value the friendship of ourgreat cousins 435 00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:37,116 from across the sea". 436 00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:02,950 - Minister, something's come up. - Yes? 437 00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:05,680 - A minute from the PM's Office. - I'm prettybusy. 438 00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,274 - You ought to read this. - What does it say? 439 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:11,352 The PM is planning a visit to Washington 440 00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:15,593 fora valuable Anglo American defence trade agreement. 441 00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:18,399 Its importance cannot be overestimated. 442 00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:20,949 Fine. Has my speech gone to the press? 443 00:24:21,120 --> 00:24:23,236 I presume so, as you requested. 444 00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:27,275 I'm sorry, but all hell's just broken loose at NumberTen. 445 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:30,273 They're asking why yourspeech didn't obtain clearance. 446 00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:33,000 - What did you say? - I mentioned open government. 447 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,549 But it seemed to make things worse. 448 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:38,678 The PM wants to see you in the House, right away. 449 00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:53,671 What's going to happen? 450 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:57,991 The Prime Ministergiveth and he taketh away. 451 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:04,112 Blessed be the name of the Prime Minister. 452 00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:21,194 Hello, Vic... 453 00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:23,954 Sir Humphrey Appleby, Vic Gould, ourChiefWhip. 454 00:25:24,120 --> 00:25:26,918 You really are a pain in the arse. 455 00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:30,317 The PM's going up the wall. 456 00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:31,708 Hitting the roof. 457 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,519 You can't go around making speeches like that. 458 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:36,478 It's Open Government. 459 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:39,074 - Shut up, Weasel. - Wiesel! 460 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:42,391 But Open Governmentwas the main plank in ourmanifesto. 461 00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:45,836 - The PM believes in it too. - Open, yes. But not gaping. 462 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:49,959 In politics you have to say things with tact, you berk! 463 00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:52,871 And when to say nothing at all. 464 00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:55,793 - How long you been a Minister? - Week and half. 465 00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:59,676 You will appear in the Guinness book of records. 466 00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:02,637 I can see the headlines already. 467 00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:04,791 "Cabinet split on U. S. Trade. 468 00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:07,554 Hacker leads revolt against Prime Minister. 469 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:09,676 That's what you want, is it? 470 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:14,871 Ah, SirArnold, what news? 471 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,600 That speech is causing the PM some distress. 472 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:19,796 Has it been released to the Press? 473 00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:23,748 Well, the Ministergave express instructions fornoon. 474 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:26,354 - Isn't that right? - I'm appalled at you, Humphrey. 475 00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:30,672 How could you let the Minister put himself in this position? 476 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:32,796 We believe in open government. 477 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:36,794 We want to open the windows. Isn't that right, Minister? 478 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:38,439 It's good party stuff, 479 00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,956 but it puts the PM in a very difficult situation. 480 00:26:42,120 --> 00:26:43,997 What about Open Government? 481 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:48,029 This seems to be the closed season foropen government. 482 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:52,392 Do you want to give thought 483 00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:55,074 to a draft letterof resignation? 484 00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:56,468 Just in case... 485 00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:01,790 Can'twe hush it up? 486 00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:05,391 - Hush it up? - Yes, hush it up. 487 00:27:07,120 --> 00:27:08,951 You mean... suppress it? 488 00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:10,673 Yes, I suppose I do. 489 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:14,230 You mean thatwithin the framework of the guidelines 490 00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:17,517 about open goverment that you have laid down, 491 00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:20,956 you're suggesting we should adopt a more flexible posture? 492 00:27:21,120 --> 00:27:23,315 Am I? Oh yes. Yes. 493 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,516 About the press release... 494 00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:29,753 A development could precipitate a reappraisal of ourposition. 495 00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:33,674 We forgot the interdepartmental clearance procedure. 496 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:37,232 The supplementary stop order came into effect. 497 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:41,076 So, yourspeech hasn't gone to the Press. 498 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:45,074 It's only gone to the PM's Private Office 499 00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:49,028 and the Duty Officerhad no instructions to pass it out 500 00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:51,839 - without clearance. - But how come? 501 00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,474 The fault is entirely mine, Minister. 502 00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:59,396 The holding up of press releases dates back to 503 00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:01,516 before open government, 504 00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:04,592 and I unaccountably omitted to rescind it. 505 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:09,232 - I hope you forgive this lapse. - Well, yes, of course. 506 00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:13,072 - That's quite all right. - Thank you, Minister. 507 00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:15,390 Afterall, we all make mistakes. 508 00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:17,513 Yes, Minister.