1 00:00:46,020 --> 00:00:48,091 - You've read it? - I've read it. 2 00:00:48,740 --> 00:00:50,537 - Have you read this? - He's read it. 3 00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:52,895 - Let me read it to you! - We've read it. 4 00:00:53,060 --> 00:00:56,496 "Let's get rid fo Jim Hacker", by John Pilgrim. 5 00:00:57,580 --> 00:00:59,775 The Right Honourable Jim Jacker, promised 6 00:00:59,940 --> 00:01:03,171 to slim down the Civil Service, and to wipe out the interference 7 00:01:03,340 --> 00:01:05,695 from the Whitehall and Town Hall busybodies. 8 00:01:05,980 --> 00:01:07,891 But howmany people realise that 9 00:01:08,060 --> 00:01:11,609 more people serve in the Inland Revenue than the Royal Navy? 10 00:01:12,060 --> 00:01:13,857 - Is it true? - I believe it is, Minister. 11 00:01:14,020 --> 00:01:18,093 - "Perhaps a tax is the best defence". - Oh, that's ratherwitty. 12 00:01:20,140 --> 00:01:22,813 - And have you read this bit? - I have read it. 13 00:01:22,980 --> 00:01:25,050 "No less than fourministries 14 00:01:25,220 --> 00:01:27,688 check the supply of the same army uniforms. 15 00:01:27,860 --> 00:01:30,374 Defence checks to see they get what they ordered. 16 00:01:30,540 --> 00:01:34,169 Industry checks to see they are manufactured as perregulations. 17 00:01:34,340 --> 00:01:36,058 The Treasury checks the bills. 18 00:01:36,220 --> 00:01:39,053 And Jim Hacker's mob checks up on everyone else. 19 00:01:39,220 --> 00:01:42,815 Jim Hacker is the most obvious case of overmanning in Whitehall. 20 00:01:42,980 --> 00:01:46,097 Let's get rid ofhim and save at least one salary". 21 00:01:49,260 --> 00:01:52,297 Frank, why did you read me that? I told you I'd read it. 22 00:01:52,660 --> 00:01:54,776 Because I'm yourpolitical advisor. 23 00:01:54,940 --> 00:01:57,135 This is politically damaging foryou. 24 00:01:57,300 --> 00:01:59,018 Good morning, Minister. 25 00:01:59,700 --> 00:02:02,453 - Have you read this? - Yes! Yes! Yes! 26 00:02:03,140 --> 00:02:06,416 I have read it! You have read it, he has read it! 27 00:02:06,580 --> 00:02:09,617 We have all bloody read it, do I make myself clear? 28 00:02:09,940 --> 00:02:11,578 Abundantly, Minister. 29 00:02:12,060 --> 00:02:13,539 I'm sorry. Sit down. 30 00:02:16,540 --> 00:02:19,691 Humphrey, we have got to slim down the Civil Service. 31 00:02:20,300 --> 00:02:22,530 Howmany people have we got in this department? 32 00:02:22,700 --> 00:02:25,339 This department? Oh, we're very small. 33 00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:26,979 Small? How small? 34 00:02:27,460 --> 00:02:28,688 I don't know... 35 00:02:28,860 --> 00:02:30,373 2.000? 36 00:02:31,260 --> 00:02:32,488 3.000? 37 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:35,778 Um... about 23.000, I think, Minister. 38 00:02:36,020 --> 00:02:38,090 23.000? 39 00:02:38,540 --> 00:02:40,371 In Administrative Affairs? 40 00:02:40,540 --> 00:02:43,850 23.000 people just administering otheradministrators? 41 00:02:44,260 --> 00:02:46,899 We'll have to do a study to see who we can get rid of. 42 00:02:47,060 --> 00:02:49,415 - We did one of those last year. - And? 43 00:02:49,580 --> 00:02:51,650 It transpired we needed another500 people. 44 00:02:54,180 --> 00:02:57,968 However, we could always close your Bureaucratic Watchdog Office. 45 00:02:58,140 --> 00:03:01,337 No. It's the one thing I've done since I got here. 46 00:03:01,500 --> 00:03:05,095 But it has been criticised as a trouble maker's letterbox. 47 00:03:05,260 --> 00:03:08,138 I know. It's very popularwith the voters. 48 00:03:08,420 --> 00:03:12,049 They help us find ways to stop wasting government money. 49 00:03:12,220 --> 00:03:15,530 We are the experts about wasting government money... 50 00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:18,657 That's not what I meant. 51 00:03:19,660 --> 00:03:22,493 Well, the Bureaucratic Watchdog Office stays. 52 00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:25,379 Well, offhand I can't think of what else to suggest. 53 00:03:25,540 --> 00:03:28,896 Are you seriously telling me there is no way we can cut down? 54 00:03:29,260 --> 00:03:32,730 I suppose we could lose one ortwo of the tea ladies. 55 00:03:32,900 --> 00:03:36,495 Oh, Humphrey, I do wish you'd take this seriously. 56 00:03:36,660 --> 00:03:38,651 Tea ladies! I want the facts. 57 00:03:38,820 --> 00:03:41,288 I want to knowwho works here, what they do, 58 00:03:41,460 --> 00:03:44,497 what buildings we have, what goes on in them. 59 00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:48,695 Then we'll knowwhere to cut costs, cut staff, cut procedures... 60 00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:51,659 The Civil Service, Minister, exists to implement 61 00:03:51,820 --> 00:03:53,731 legislation enacted by Parliament. 62 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:57,449 As long as Parliament continues to legislate, the Civil Service... 63 00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:01,135 However, I am fully seized of yourrequirements, 64 00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:03,655 and I'll go and set the wheels in motion. 65 00:04:03,980 --> 00:04:05,049 Thank you. 66 00:04:05,220 --> 00:04:07,529 - Good morning, Mr. Weasel. - Weisel. 67 00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:13,855 Did you know that a Regional Controller 68 00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:17,217 has achieved cuts of 32 million in his region alone? 69 00:04:18,580 --> 00:04:21,253 And that the Civil Service is suppressing the story? 70 00:04:21,420 --> 00:04:23,297 - Is it true? - Lf it is, I'm aghast! 71 00:04:23,460 --> 00:04:26,372 - Why? - Lfhe can save, everyone else can. 72 00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:32,852 Why don't you look into it, have a bit of a ferret around? 73 00:04:35,580 --> 00:04:36,933 Do you think I could? 74 00:04:37,100 --> 00:04:39,614 I think that's a very good idea, Mr. Ferret erWeasel. 75 00:04:42,980 --> 00:04:45,778 - He told you 32 million pounds? - Yes, Sir Humphrey. 76 00:04:45,940 --> 00:04:47,168 - I'm aghast! - So I was. 77 00:04:47,340 --> 00:04:49,331 It's incredible we didn't know about it. 78 00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:51,968 - I knew about it. - Then why are you aghast? 79 00:04:52,140 --> 00:04:53,698 I'm aghast that it got out. 80 00:04:54,700 --> 00:04:57,168 We'll get less money from the Treasury next year. 81 00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:59,490 Oh, it's afterhalf past five. Sherry? 82 00:04:59,660 --> 00:05:01,252 Oh, er, yes. Thank you. 83 00:05:01,620 --> 00:05:04,180 - You still look worried, Bernard. - Well... yes. 84 00:05:04,340 --> 00:05:06,808 I mean, surely we want to save money. 85 00:05:06,980 --> 00:05:10,131 You knowperfectly well there has to be some way 86 00:05:10,300 --> 00:05:13,212 to measure success in the Civil Service. 87 00:05:14,700 --> 00:05:16,531 British Leyland measure theirsuccess 88 00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:19,453 by the size of theirprofits, or, to be more accurate, 89 00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:22,418 they measure theirfailure by the size of their losses. 90 00:05:23,020 --> 00:05:24,897 We don't have profits and losses. 91 00:05:25,060 --> 00:05:26,652 We have to measure oursuccess 92 00:05:26,820 --> 00:05:29,334 by the size of ourstaff and ourbudget. 93 00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:31,411 By definition, Bernard, 94 00:05:31,660 --> 00:05:33,810 a big department is more successful. 95 00:05:33,980 --> 00:05:36,733 Are you saying that the Regional Controller 96 00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:39,016 boobed by saving so much money? 97 00:05:39,180 --> 00:05:41,819 Well, of course. Nobody asked him to. 98 00:05:42,580 --> 00:05:44,332 Suppose everybody did it! 99 00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:46,491 Suppose everyone went around saving money 100 00:05:46,660 --> 00:05:48,696 irresponsibly all overthe place. 101 00:05:49,100 --> 00:05:51,375 That's what the Ministerwants, isn't it? 102 00:05:51,540 --> 00:05:53,053 Do sit down, Bernard. 103 00:05:55,740 --> 00:05:58,174 Ministers come and Ministers go. 104 00:05:58,580 --> 00:06:02,493 The average Minister lasts less than 11 months in any department. 105 00:06:03,860 --> 00:06:06,977 You see, Bernard, it is ourduty to assist the Minister 106 00:06:07,140 --> 00:06:10,894 to fight forthe Department's money despite his own panic reactions. 107 00:06:11,060 --> 00:06:12,698 You mean help him overcome his panic. 108 00:06:12,860 --> 00:06:16,136 No. No. No. No, we must let him panic. 109 00:06:16,340 --> 00:06:19,218 Politicians like to panic. They need activity. 110 00:06:21,060 --> 00:06:23,528 It's theirsubstitute forachievement. 111 00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:27,660 We must just ensure that it doesn't change anything. 112 00:06:28,820 --> 00:06:31,129 But they are the people's representatives, 113 00:06:31,300 --> 00:06:32,699 democratically chosen. 114 00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:36,489 MP's aren't chosen by the people, but by their local party. 115 00:06:36,660 --> 00:06:40,494 35 men in grubby raincoats or35 women in silly hats. 116 00:06:41,260 --> 00:06:44,058 But the government are selected from the best of them. 117 00:06:44,260 --> 00:06:47,809 Bernard, there are only 630 MP's. 118 00:06:48,220 --> 00:06:51,735 If one partyhas just over300 it forms a government. 119 00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:55,137 Of that 300, one hundred are too old and too silly, 120 00:06:55,300 --> 00:06:57,256 one hundred too young and too callow 121 00:06:57,420 --> 00:06:59,980 which leaves just about a hundred MP's to fill 122 00:07:00,140 --> 00:07:01,937 one hundred gobernmental posts. 123 00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:03,772 There's no choice al all. 124 00:07:03,940 --> 00:07:06,500 They've had no selection, no training. 125 00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:09,128 We have to do the job forthem. 126 00:07:10,460 --> 00:07:15,090 But how can we explain saving 32 million to the Minister? 127 00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:19,812 We can explain they've changed theiraccounting systems. 128 00:07:20,060 --> 00:07:22,494 Orthat they've redrawn the regional boundaries 129 00:07:22,660 --> 00:07:25,333 so that the current figures aren't operable. 130 00:07:25,740 --> 00:07:27,810 There are all sorts of possibilities. 131 00:07:28,980 --> 00:07:30,254 I see. 132 00:07:31,340 --> 00:07:35,618 Useful chat, Bernard, good job it nevertook place. 133 00:07:37,860 --> 00:07:39,339 Yes. Yes. Of course. 134 00:07:39,540 --> 00:07:41,815 So what else is ourfriend Weasel up to? 135 00:07:41,980 --> 00:07:43,413 Oh, he's ferretting. 136 00:07:44,940 --> 00:07:46,692 Ferretting? Where? 137 00:07:47,220 --> 00:07:48,892 It's a roving brief. 138 00:07:49,380 --> 00:07:52,929 Then we shall have to provide Rover with a government car. 139 00:07:53,260 --> 00:07:55,774 So thatwe'll know where he's digging. 140 00:07:57,580 --> 00:08:01,892 How... how are you getting on with your Minister, Humpy? 141 00:08:02,460 --> 00:08:04,849 Got this economising nosense undercontrol? 142 00:08:05,020 --> 00:08:07,250 Yes, I think so, Jumbo... more o less. 143 00:08:07,580 --> 00:08:10,140 - What do you mean more or less? - Well... yes and no. 144 00:08:11,140 --> 00:08:14,530 Presumably it's like all the other government economy drives? 145 00:08:14,820 --> 00:08:17,288 Three days of press releases, three weeks of memos, 146 00:08:17,460 --> 00:08:19,849 a crisis in the Middle East and back to normal? 147 00:08:20,020 --> 00:08:21,931 This one's slightly different. 148 00:08:22,140 --> 00:08:25,257 He's beginning to see slimming down the Service 149 00:08:25,420 --> 00:08:26,694 as his main task. 150 00:08:26,860 --> 00:08:29,420 Dammit, we don't need slimming! 151 00:08:32,380 --> 00:08:36,737 I think you might have to conduct anotherOperation HairShirt. 152 00:08:37,780 --> 00:08:41,375 Operation HairShirt. What a good idea. 153 00:08:41,820 --> 00:08:45,051 Guide him towards painful personal economies. 154 00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:47,415 Yes, you know. 155 00:08:47,820 --> 00:08:50,288 "Economy begins at home, Minister". 156 00:08:50,460 --> 00:08:52,257 "Set an example, Minister". 157 00:08:52,420 --> 00:08:55,571 "Can't expect others to do what we can't do ourselves, Minister". 158 00:08:56,020 --> 00:08:59,456 Yes, yes. Just what he needs, self denial. 159 00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:02,093 Splendid. 160 00:09:04,860 --> 00:09:07,772 Right. Item 3. The economy drive. 161 00:09:08,300 --> 00:09:11,178 Frank has come up with some startling indications 162 00:09:11,340 --> 00:09:13,251 of wastage in ourvery midst. 163 00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:16,730 - Has he really? - You'll be surprised. 164 00:09:16,900 --> 00:09:19,368 These facts are a frightening indictment 165 00:09:19,540 --> 00:09:21,849 ofbureaucratic sloppiness and self indulgence. 166 00:09:22,140 --> 00:09:23,255 Dear, dear. 167 00:09:23,420 --> 00:09:26,253 But as you'll see, they do give us enormous scope 168 00:09:26,420 --> 00:09:28,570 forsome really dramatic economies. 169 00:09:29,140 --> 00:09:30,289 Good show! 170 00:09:30,540 --> 00:09:34,419 Now, I have here two files: One on manpower, one on buildings. 171 00:09:34,580 --> 00:09:37,174 Let's startwith the buildings. 172 00:09:38,660 --> 00:09:41,015 Chadwick House, West Audley Street. 173 00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:44,456 - A handful of people working there. - Yes, 20... 174 00:09:44,620 --> 00:09:46,850 I do happen to know about Chadwick House. 175 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:49,250 - What do you know? - It's underused, 176 00:09:49,420 --> 00:09:52,890 but it is the office forthe new Commission forthe Environment. 177 00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:56,814 We're wondering if it's going to be big enough forall the staff. 178 00:09:58,660 --> 00:10:02,573 O.K. What about Ladysmith Buildings, Walthamstow. 179 00:10:02,740 --> 00:10:05,174 - Apparently that's empty. - Of course. 180 00:10:05,780 --> 00:10:09,898 - What do you mean, of course? - Security, I can say no more. 181 00:10:13,420 --> 00:10:15,376 Do you mean Ml6? 182 00:10:19,060 --> 00:10:20,857 What's that supposed to mean? 183 00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:23,136 We do not admit that Ml6 exists. 184 00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:26,531 - Everybody knows it exists. - Nevertheless, we do not admit it. 185 00:10:26,700 --> 00:10:29,612 Not everyone round this table has been vetted. 186 00:10:31,020 --> 00:10:33,488 I thought thatwas something you do cats. 187 00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:38,093 Yes, indeed. But not ferrets, Minister. 188 00:10:41,060 --> 00:10:43,620 Ladysmith House is top secret. 189 00:10:43,940 --> 00:10:47,489 How can a seven storey building in Walthamstowbe top secret? 190 00:10:48,860 --> 00:10:50,930 Where there's a will there's a way. 191 00:10:51,820 --> 00:10:54,209 What about Wellington House and WestminsterOld Hall? 192 00:10:54,380 --> 00:10:58,419 Wellington House, Hyde Park Road, estimated value 7.5 million pounds. 193 00:10:58,580 --> 00:11:00,377 WestminsterOld Hall, Sackville Square, 194 00:11:00,540 --> 00:11:02,531 estimated value 11 million pounds. 195 00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:05,373 Each building with a tiny staff, and both filled 196 00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:07,451 entirely with filing cabinets. 197 00:11:07,660 --> 00:11:11,369 - The source of these valuations? - Going rate forproperty. 198 00:11:11,540 --> 00:11:14,373 But neitherof them would fetch the going rate. 199 00:11:14,540 --> 00:11:17,532 Wellington House has no fire escape orfire doors 200 00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:20,055 and the building wouldn't stand the alteration. 201 00:11:20,220 --> 00:11:23,132 - It can't be used as offices. - How are you able to use them? 202 00:11:23,380 --> 00:11:26,816 Government buildings do not require fire safety clearance. 203 00:11:26,980 --> 00:11:27,980 Why not? 204 00:11:28,140 --> 00:11:33,260 Well, perhaps because Her Majesty's Civil Servants are not easily inflamed. 205 00:11:38,060 --> 00:11:39,937 What about WestminsterOld Hall? 206 00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:42,409 Class one Registered Building. 207 00:11:42,580 --> 00:11:44,935 Can't change current userdesignation. 208 00:11:46,780 --> 00:11:49,055 I see. 3 to 17 Beaconsfield Street? 209 00:11:49,220 --> 00:11:54,055 Ah, yes. Now, that has a three level reinforced concrete basement. 210 00:11:54,540 --> 00:11:55,609 So? 211 00:11:55,780 --> 00:11:57,338 It is there in case. 212 00:11:58,460 --> 00:11:59,460 In case? 213 00:11:59,620 --> 00:12:01,258 Well, you know, Minister. 214 00:12:01,420 --> 00:12:03,615 Emergency Government Headquarters, if and when. 215 00:12:03,780 --> 00:12:05,293 If and when what? 216 00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:08,860 If and when... you knowwhat. 217 00:12:09,100 --> 00:12:12,490 - What? - Lf and when you knowwhat. 218 00:12:12,660 --> 00:12:14,218 I don't knowwhat. What? 219 00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:17,533 What do you mean, if and when you knowwhat? 220 00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:19,213 When the chips are down, 221 00:12:19,380 --> 00:12:22,053 the balloon goes up and the lights go out... 222 00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:26,173 There has to be somewhere to carry on government, 223 00:12:26,340 --> 00:12:28,490 even if everything else stops. 224 00:12:28,820 --> 00:12:30,094 Why? 225 00:12:30,980 --> 00:12:35,417 Government doesn't stop just because the whole country's been destroyed. 226 00:12:38,420 --> 00:12:40,172 Annihilation's bad enough, 227 00:12:40,340 --> 00:12:42,570 without anarchy to make things even worse. 228 00:12:42,980 --> 00:12:45,448 You mean you'd have a lot of rebellions cinders? 229 00:12:47,780 --> 00:12:50,089 Who would be there foryou to govern? 230 00:12:50,260 --> 00:12:53,457 Well, there're bound to be some ordinary people around. 231 00:12:53,900 --> 00:12:57,131 - What about Central Registry? - No planning permission. 232 00:12:57,300 --> 00:13:00,292 How does he know all this? You knewwhere I'd been. 233 00:13:00,460 --> 00:13:02,416 Obviously we knew where he'd been. 234 00:13:02,580 --> 00:13:04,252 Was he supposed to be spying? 235 00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:07,129 We do believe in open enquiries, don'twe? 236 00:13:09,100 --> 00:13:11,568 Let us turn to manpower. 237 00:13:11,780 --> 00:13:13,054 Yes, let's! 238 00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:16,533 Aparently there are 90 Civil Servants in Sunderland 239 00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:19,533 duplicating the work of 90 more here in Whitehall. 240 00:13:19,700 --> 00:13:22,089 That stems from a Cabinet decision. 241 00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:25,138 - Job creation in the North East. - Let's get rid of them. 242 00:13:25,300 --> 00:13:27,450 We'd get rid of 90 Civil Servants at a stroke. 243 00:13:27,620 --> 00:13:29,929 Yes, or indeed, at a strike. 244 00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:31,328 Yes. ¿What? 245 00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:35,334 I would be wholeheartedly in favourof such a move. 246 00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:37,297 Itwould be a splendid economy. 247 00:13:37,460 --> 00:13:40,452 And show great political courage to sack staff 248 00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:43,737 in depressed marginal constituencies. 249 00:13:46,540 --> 00:13:49,134 There is nowhere we can cut down. 250 00:13:49,300 --> 00:13:52,053 - I see waste everywhere. - I agree with you, Minister. 251 00:13:52,220 --> 00:13:54,780 - There is scope foreconomy... - Well, where? 252 00:13:55,020 --> 00:13:58,490 Well. I sometimes feel that the very way we do things 253 00:13:58,660 --> 00:14:02,016 is on too lavish a scale. You know, cars, furnishings... 254 00:14:02,180 --> 00:14:04,489 entertainments, private office staff... 255 00:14:04,660 --> 00:14:07,379 - Duplicating machines... - Yes. Yes. Yes. Fine. Yes. 256 00:14:07,540 --> 00:14:09,451 That's where we'll start. 257 00:14:09,620 --> 00:14:12,453 - Unfortunately there is a difficulty. - I knew it! 258 00:14:12,620 --> 00:14:14,451 It does cause profound resentment 259 00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:17,578 if those at the top continue to enjoy the comforts 260 00:14:17,740 --> 00:14:19,696 they withdraw from those below them, 261 00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:22,499 not to mention the deeply damaging publicity... 262 00:14:22,780 --> 00:14:25,897 You mean you and I should... 263 00:14:26,100 --> 00:14:27,818 Set a personal example? 264 00:14:28,060 --> 00:14:29,732 Economy begins at home? 265 00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:33,336 We can't expect others to do whatwe don't do ourselves, can we? 266 00:14:34,620 --> 00:14:37,578 - Would it really save all that much? - Well, not directly, no. 267 00:14:37,740 --> 00:14:42,655 But, as an example to the whole public service... incalculable. 268 00:14:42,900 --> 00:14:44,219 Well, I don't know... 269 00:14:44,380 --> 00:14:47,656 Jim, there'd be a lot of great publicity in it: 270 00:14:48,700 --> 00:14:50,770 "The Ministershows the way". 271 00:14:51,180 --> 00:14:52,818 "Slimline Government". 272 00:14:52,980 --> 00:14:56,290 "Hackersets an example". "Save it" says Jim. 273 00:14:56,460 --> 00:14:58,018 Yes. Yes, that's it. 274 00:14:58,260 --> 00:15:00,012 Great, where do we start? 275 00:15:06,540 --> 00:15:09,373 - Oh! Turn the... - Sorry. Were you asleep? 276 00:15:09,540 --> 00:15:10,540 Yes. 277 00:15:12,140 --> 00:15:13,539 I missed my train. 278 00:15:13,900 --> 00:15:15,731 Had to walk all the way to Euston. 279 00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:18,414 - And the chauffeurdriven car? - Got rid of it. 280 00:15:18,580 --> 00:15:22,050 Got rid of the chauffeurtoo, and all that office furniture, 281 00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:25,053 drinks cabinet, half the staff in my private office. 282 00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:30,370 - You've been sacked. - No, no... 283 00:15:31,540 --> 00:15:33,815 - Then why? - It's an economy drive. 284 00:15:33,980 --> 00:15:37,973 I'm setting an example. No luxuries, no frills, no privileges... 285 00:15:38,340 --> 00:15:39,659 You're mad... 286 00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:43,609 For 20 years you've complained you had no facilities. 287 00:15:43,780 --> 00:15:46,294 - Now you're throwing them away. - But, darling... 288 00:15:46,460 --> 00:15:48,928 20 years you've wanted to be a success. 289 00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:52,092 Why, if it brings no greater comfort than failure? 290 00:15:52,260 --> 00:15:54,171 You don't really understand politics. 291 00:15:54,340 --> 00:15:57,730 This way it's going to bring me much more power in the end. 292 00:15:57,900 --> 00:16:01,575 And how are you going to travel when you are Prime Minister. 293 00:16:01,740 --> 00:16:03,014 Hitch hike? 294 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:14,815 - Bernard, ourdiary session. - As soon as I've done this typing. 295 00:16:15,180 --> 00:16:18,013 - Can't you get...? - Not really, it's ratherurgent. 296 00:16:18,180 --> 00:16:21,297 And since the cutbacks there's just the two of us. 297 00:16:21,460 --> 00:16:23,178 Well, I must talk to you. 298 00:16:23,820 --> 00:16:25,412 - Mandy! Mandy! - Yes? 299 00:16:25,580 --> 00:16:26,649 Where's W? 300 00:16:27,460 --> 00:16:28,734 Top left. 301 00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:31,218 Bernard! Come in here! 302 00:16:32,580 --> 00:16:33,899 Now! 303 00:16:36,820 --> 00:16:41,018 I was double booked this morning. I was late forthat thing. 304 00:16:41,180 --> 00:16:43,614 - What thing? - The Business Efficiency Exhibition! 305 00:16:44,260 --> 00:16:46,979 I do apologise, but whatwith the... 306 00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:49,449 staff economies in yourprivate office, 307 00:16:49,620 --> 00:16:52,259 it is awfully difficult to keep track. 308 00:16:52,420 --> 00:16:55,617 - What's happening this afternoon? - I'll get the diary. 309 00:16:58,780 --> 00:17:00,054 Not now, dear! 310 00:17:01,180 --> 00:17:02,408 Not now! 311 00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:11,177 - Morning, duck. - Do you have to do that now? 312 00:17:11,340 --> 00:17:14,571 Yes. Yes. They've cancelled the night shift. 313 00:17:14,740 --> 00:17:18,289 Some idiot's started another of those economy drives. 314 00:17:19,900 --> 00:17:22,175 - I'm Nellie. - Good. Well, the point is... 315 00:17:22,340 --> 00:17:23,568 Who are you? 316 00:17:24,140 --> 00:17:25,619 I'm the Minister. 317 00:17:26,260 --> 00:17:28,820 Oh, really? 318 00:17:30,020 --> 00:17:34,650 Oh, I'm everso pleased to meet you. I voted foryou. 319 00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:36,776 Oh, good. Thank you. 320 00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:38,858 You can call me Nellie. 321 00:17:39,020 --> 00:17:40,020 Thank you. 322 00:17:40,180 --> 00:17:43,013 - What do I call you? - Er... Jim. 323 00:17:43,180 --> 00:17:45,057 Here's the diary, Minister. 324 00:17:45,220 --> 00:17:47,859 Right. Turn that off, would you, dear? 325 00:17:48,020 --> 00:17:49,931 Turn it... Nellie! 326 00:17:50,940 --> 00:17:52,009 What? 327 00:17:52,180 --> 00:17:54,330 Would you excuse us? This is confidential. 328 00:17:54,500 --> 00:17:57,173 I've got to get on you know, Jim. 329 00:17:57,740 --> 00:17:58,889 So have I. 330 00:18:00,220 --> 00:18:01,220 Jim? 331 00:18:01,940 --> 00:18:03,931 Well, I won't use the hoover. 332 00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:06,694 I'll tiptoe, you'll nevernotice me. 333 00:18:06,860 --> 00:18:09,055 - Go please. - I'm light as a feather. 334 00:18:09,220 --> 00:18:10,972 Go! Now! 335 00:18:15,660 --> 00:18:17,139 All right, Jim. 336 00:18:17,380 --> 00:18:19,018 I can take a hint. 337 00:18:24,220 --> 00:18:29,214 It's just Mr. Brough this morning, our Directorof Manpower Planning. 338 00:18:29,460 --> 00:18:32,054 - Brough? - Yes, staff reductions. 339 00:18:32,300 --> 00:18:35,929 - Oh, yes. - And then straight to the House. 340 00:18:36,100 --> 00:18:39,979 At 8 o'clock the French Prime Minister's reception at his Embassy. 341 00:18:40,140 --> 00:18:43,530 I must take the schedules down to the Whips Office. 342 00:18:46,380 --> 00:18:48,177 - Bernard... - Yes, Minister? 343 00:18:48,340 --> 00:18:49,898 It is worth it, you know... 344 00:18:50,060 --> 00:18:52,449 Centre page spread and three pictures. 345 00:18:52,620 --> 00:18:54,292 Yes, I have read it, Minister. 346 00:18:55,780 --> 00:18:59,409 See this one of me, with a cheese roll on a cardboard plate? 347 00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:03,573 "No luxury lunches in Hacker's new austerity regime". 348 00:19:03,740 --> 00:19:06,618 "Economy begins at home" said Jim Hackertoday, 349 00:19:06,780 --> 00:19:09,089 as he set an example to Britain's pampered army 350 00:19:09,260 --> 00:19:11,012 ofbowlerhatted bureaucrats". 351 00:19:11,620 --> 00:19:14,498 - Terrific, isn't it? - You have read it to me already. 352 00:19:14,940 --> 00:19:17,454 - Great, isn't it? - Yes, Minister. 353 00:19:19,740 --> 00:19:22,174 Economise on the beaches... 354 00:19:24,020 --> 00:19:25,578 - Excuse me. - Yes? Yes? 355 00:19:25,740 --> 00:19:28,459 - I'd like to see the Minister. - Do you have an appointment? 356 00:19:28,620 --> 00:19:30,576 Ron Watson, General Secretary 357 00:19:30,740 --> 00:19:34,050 of the Union of Civil Service Transport Workers. 358 00:19:34,220 --> 00:19:36,609 - Yes, Mr. Watson. - We're disturbed about rumours 359 00:19:36,780 --> 00:19:39,340 of redundancies affecting ourmembers... 360 00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:42,014 I'm sorry, you must have an appointment. 361 00:19:42,180 --> 00:19:44,899 - Phone me tomorrow. - Why can't I arrange it now? 362 00:19:45,060 --> 00:19:46,493 - I'm sorry. - Oh, really! 363 00:19:46,660 --> 00:19:50,130 Mandy, make an appointment for Mr. Watson fornextweek. 364 00:19:50,300 --> 00:19:51,300 Nextweek? 365 00:19:51,460 --> 00:19:53,371 Hello... Mr. Brough. 366 00:19:53,540 --> 00:19:55,576 Yes, we're expecting Mr. Brough now. 367 00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:58,890 When's it due in at Euston? 368 00:19:59,580 --> 00:20:02,333 We'll just have to cancel it fortoday then. 369 00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:05,173 Yes, yes, I'll tell him. Goodbye. 370 00:20:05,340 --> 00:20:06,853 Sorry to keep you. 371 00:20:07,180 --> 00:20:10,331 Now, about yourappointment. When would be convenient... 372 00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:12,968 - The meeting's cancelled then? - Yes. 373 00:20:13,140 --> 00:20:16,257 - So I can see him now? - I'm afraid not, you see... 374 00:20:16,420 --> 00:20:18,376 Would you excuse me just a moment? 375 00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:21,489 Yes? No. He's not here. 376 00:20:22,220 --> 00:20:26,532 He's gone overto the Whips Office. Would you like the extension? 377 00:20:28,380 --> 00:20:30,689 Ah, Mr... 378 00:20:31,460 --> 00:20:32,460 Brough? 379 00:20:32,620 --> 00:20:34,895 Mr. Brough's had to cancel the meeting. 380 00:20:35,060 --> 00:20:36,732 My name's Ron Watson. I'm... 381 00:20:36,900 --> 00:20:38,936 I'm glad you could get here instead. 382 00:20:39,100 --> 00:20:41,330 - Do sit down, won't you. - Oh, thank you. 383 00:20:41,500 --> 00:20:42,899 Now, Mr. Er... 384 00:20:43,060 --> 00:20:44,288 Watson. 385 00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:48,573 Before we start there's one thing I must make absolutely clear. 386 00:20:48,740 --> 00:20:50,571 This must not get out. 387 00:20:51,220 --> 00:20:53,654 If the unions were to get to hearof this 388 00:20:54,660 --> 00:20:56,855 all hell would be let loose. 389 00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:58,534 Oh, yes. 390 00:20:59,100 --> 00:21:02,376 Of course there'll be redundancies. You simply... 391 00:21:02,540 --> 00:21:04,974 You simply can't slim down 392 00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:08,450 a giant bureaucracy like this without getting rid of people. 393 00:21:08,740 --> 00:21:10,537 Ultimately, a lot of people. 394 00:21:10,700 --> 00:21:13,737 Won't you be holding discussions with the Unions first? 395 00:21:13,900 --> 00:21:15,856 We'll go through the charade of discussions, 396 00:21:16,020 --> 00:21:18,090 but you know what Trade Unionists are like; 397 00:21:18,260 --> 00:21:20,569 thick as two short planks and bloody minded. 398 00:21:22,460 --> 00:21:23,575 All of them? 399 00:21:23,740 --> 00:21:26,300 Pretty well. Good lord, you should know. 400 00:21:26,460 --> 00:21:29,133 They're interested in poaching each other's members 401 00:21:29,300 --> 00:21:31,689 and they can't keep theirbig mouths shut. 402 00:21:32,660 --> 00:21:36,209 What about drivers and transport service staff? 403 00:21:36,380 --> 00:21:37,415 First to go. 404 00:21:37,580 --> 00:21:40,048 We waste a fortuna on cars and drivers. 405 00:21:40,220 --> 00:21:43,337 - And they're all on the fiddle. - Oh, I see. 406 00:21:44,180 --> 00:21:48,651 Because, as I was trying to explain, I'm not Mr. Brough's deputy. 407 00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:53,332 I'm the General Secretary of the Union of Civil Service Transport 408 00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:55,809 and Associated Government Workers. 409 00:21:56,940 --> 00:21:57,940 Ah. I... 410 00:21:58,100 --> 00:22:00,739 I came here to check there was no truth in the rumours 411 00:22:00,900 --> 00:22:02,970 of redundancies formy members. 412 00:22:03,540 --> 00:22:05,292 Well... I... I... 413 00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:08,939 All I meantwas... 414 00:22:09,100 --> 00:22:10,169 Oh, God. 415 00:22:26,700 --> 00:22:29,055 He quotes me, word forword: 416 00:22:29,500 --> 00:22:32,173 "Of course there will be redundancies. Lots!" 417 00:22:32,620 --> 00:22:34,372 I'm most terribly sorry. 418 00:22:34,540 --> 00:22:37,100 - Are all the drivers on strike? - 100 % response. 419 00:22:37,260 --> 00:22:39,455 How could you allow this to happen? 420 00:22:39,620 --> 00:22:40,939 C.B.E., Minister. 421 00:22:41,940 --> 00:22:43,009 C.B. E? 422 00:22:43,180 --> 00:22:44,659 Can't be everywhere. 423 00:22:47,060 --> 00:22:49,335 Of course, in normal circumstances... 424 00:22:49,500 --> 00:22:51,536 Yes. Yes. I know, I know. 425 00:22:52,140 --> 00:22:55,337 You and Mrs. Hackerare due at the French Embassy at 8. 426 00:22:56,180 --> 00:22:58,899 Oh, yes. Get me the car, will you? 427 00:23:00,500 --> 00:23:05,494 Oh... Betterring Mrs. Hacker, ask herto bring ourcar into town. 428 00:23:05,660 --> 00:23:09,733 Mrs. Hackersays she has to drop it off at the garage. 429 00:23:09,900 --> 00:23:11,856 She'll have to do that tomorrow. 430 00:23:12,140 --> 00:23:14,495 It'll get us as faras Kensington. 431 00:23:15,020 --> 00:23:17,056 At least there are no problems about that. 432 00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:31,300 Annie, it's no good. We'll have to walk. 433 00:23:31,540 --> 00:23:33,815 - Have you got the umbrella? - No, haven't you? 434 00:23:34,740 --> 00:23:36,093 Terrific. 435 00:23:43,340 --> 00:23:47,094 - You're going the wrong way. - I'm not, I'm going home. 436 00:23:50,140 --> 00:23:52,096 Annie! I think I've found what's wrong. 437 00:23:52,260 --> 00:23:53,534 I know I have! 438 00:24:10,900 --> 00:24:11,900 Oui, Monsieur? 439 00:24:12,060 --> 00:24:15,018 Her Majesty's Minister forAdministrative Affairs. 440 00:24:18,420 --> 00:24:19,933 My carbroke down. 441 00:24:22,260 --> 00:24:25,650 Mr. Hacker, you look as if you need some champagne. 442 00:24:25,940 --> 00:24:27,532 I do. Lots! 443 00:25:32,700 --> 00:25:33,735 Mr. Hacker? 444 00:25:35,780 --> 00:25:36,780 Hello. 445 00:25:38,300 --> 00:25:39,733 Thanks, mate. 446 00:25:42,740 --> 00:25:44,139 Gutterpress! 447 00:25:50,100 --> 00:25:52,250 All right, what do they say? 448 00:25:53,540 --> 00:25:57,169 "Mr. Economyfalls down in gutter afterchampagne party". 449 00:25:57,340 --> 00:25:59,535 - Oh, my God! - This one is better. 450 00:25:59,700 --> 00:26:02,168 "Hackertired and emotional after Embassy reception". 451 00:26:02,340 --> 00:26:04,854 - Is that better? - It's different. 452 00:26:06,340 --> 00:26:09,730 Do any of them say anything other than "tired and emotional"? 453 00:26:09,900 --> 00:26:12,460 William Hickey said you were overwrought, Minister. 454 00:26:12,620 --> 00:26:15,930 - Nothing about being drunk? - Just "overwrought". 455 00:26:16,220 --> 00:26:18,370 "Overwrought as a newt", actually. 456 00:26:20,180 --> 00:26:22,011 It couldn't really be any worse. 457 00:26:22,380 --> 00:26:24,098 I don'twant to depress you... 458 00:26:24,460 --> 00:26:27,213 but there is just this lead story in The Times. 459 00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:29,614 It is worse! 460 00:26:29,780 --> 00:26:33,898 "Hackerrecruit 400 new Civil Servants in, quote, "economy drive"! 461 00:26:34,060 --> 00:26:36,779 - 400 more Civil Servants? - You asked forthem. 462 00:26:36,940 --> 00:26:39,534 You demanded a complete study, facts and figures. 463 00:26:39,700 --> 00:26:42,089 These measures cannot be taken with non people. 464 00:26:42,260 --> 00:26:45,935 If you create more jobs, more people have to be employed. 465 00:26:46,100 --> 00:26:47,374 It's common sense. 466 00:26:47,540 --> 00:26:50,532 If you persistwith the Bureaucratic Watchdog Office, 467 00:26:50,700 --> 00:26:53,692 there'll be another400 new jobs there as well. 468 00:26:56,820 --> 00:26:59,015 - What are we going to do? - Well, Minister... 469 00:27:00,180 --> 00:27:02,091 If we were to end the economy drive 470 00:27:02,260 --> 00:27:04,376 and close the Bureaucratic Watchdog Office, 471 00:27:04,540 --> 00:27:06,690 we could issue a press announcement 472 00:27:06,860 --> 00:27:08,339 that you'd axed 800 jobs. 473 00:27:08,500 --> 00:27:12,334 Now, if you'd care to glance at this draft proposal... 474 00:27:12,580 --> 00:27:15,014 But nobody's doing those jobs. 475 00:27:15,180 --> 00:27:19,412 An even greatereconomy, we've saved 800 redundancy payments. 476 00:27:20,580 --> 00:27:24,175 But that's phoney, it's cheating it's dishonest, it's just... 477 00:27:24,500 --> 00:27:27,219 pulling the wool overpeople's eyes. 478 00:27:27,380 --> 00:27:29,575 A Government Press release, in fact. 479 00:27:29,780 --> 00:27:33,898 But what are we actually going to do slim down the Civil Service? 480 00:27:34,060 --> 00:27:38,338 Perhaps you'd care to glance at this entirely fresh proposal. 481 00:27:41,100 --> 00:27:43,933 "Proposal for the Reduction of the Number of 482 00:27:44,540 --> 00:27:45,893 Tea Ladies".