1 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:46,520 He's still with the Press Officer, Sir Humphrey. 2 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,193 Would you like a coffee? 3 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:51,272 If the Minister is with the Press Officer, 4 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:54,238 we've probably got time for a six-course lunch. 5 00:00:57,680 --> 00:00:59,636 - Morning, Humphrey. - Desmond! 6 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:03,395 He's got somebody with him, but he'll only be a moment. 7 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:07,872 - Did you sound him out about? - Yes, but it doesn't look hopeful. 8 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:09,553 All my bank wants 9 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:14,714 is to put six little storeys on the new office block. 10 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:17,713 - Read the Financial Times today? - Never do! 11 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:20,519 You're a banker, surely you read the Financial Times? 12 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:25,196 Can't understand it. Full of economic theory. 13 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:29,670 - Why do you buy it? - It's part of the uniform. 14 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:33,678 Took me 30 years to understand Keynes' economics. 15 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:38,231 I'd just cottoned on when everyone got hooked on monetarist ideas, 16 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:41,836 you know, "I Want To Be Free", by Milton Shulman. 17 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:46,152 - Milton Friedman? - Why are they all called Milton? 18 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:48,834 I've only got as faras Milton Keynes. 19 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,316 Maynard Keynes? 20 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,789 I'm sure there's a Milton Keynes. 21 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:57,397 Yes, there is, it's... 22 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:01,152 Sit down. 23 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,310 You didn't read about the Minister's speech 24 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:06,755 to the Architectural Association last night, 25 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:09,878 attacking skyscraper office blocks? 26 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:11,473 Ours isn't a skyscraper. 27 00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:13,995 - Howmany storeys? - 38. 28 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:17,277 44 with the extra six we're asking for. 29 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:22,312 He was talking about the maximum tolerable height being eight. 30 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:25,597 Surely you can talk him out of it? 31 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:29,753 Work him upwards? 8, 12, 18... 32 00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:32,036 That's yourjob, talking him out of things. 33 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:36,910 Don't forget, there's a promise to prevent any more high-rise buildings 34 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:39,514 in the environment section of the manifesto. 35 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:42,831 - Does that scupper it? - Not necessarily. 36 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:46,037 There's an implicit pact offered 37 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:50,273 to every Minister by his seniorofficials. 38 00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:52,319 If the Minister implements 39 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:55,153 the opposite policy to the one he's pledged to 40 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:57,356 which, once in office, he will see is incorrect, 41 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:01,479 we'll help him to pretend he's following his manifesto. 42 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:06,956 - That's a very reasonable offer. - It sounds reasonable. 43 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:11,318 Unfortunately, among the many extraordinary qualities 44 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:13,232 politicians possess, 45 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:17,552 reasonableness isn't the first that springs to mind. 46 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:21,717 Not when one contemplates the average Minister. 47 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:24,235 And our Minister is very average. 48 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:28,390 Butwe need those extra floors. 49 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:31,552 And if you're joining the board when you retire, 50 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,678 it'll be tricky if there's no office to put you in. 51 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:38,116 Entertaining yourvisitors in a Portakabin in the carpark? 52 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:43,431 I'm not saying you won't get permission, just not today. Be patient. 53 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:46,751 Surely if a Minister's made a decision, that's it? 54 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:51,311 - What gave you that idea? - Surely a decision's a decision? 55 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:54,074 Only if it's the decision you want. 56 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:58,311 If not, it's just a temporary setback. 57 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:00,835 Ministers are like small children: 58 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:05,238 They want something desperately and next day forget they asked for it. 59 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:10,394 - He is a Ministerof the Crown. - You knowwhy he's called that? 60 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:13,836 He's always talking off the top ofhis head... 61 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,831 orthrough the back of it! 62 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:19,959 - You won't accept his decision? - No, no, no. 63 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:23,635 I start by accepting it and supporting it enthusiastically, 64 00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:26,149 then I tell him to leave it to me. 65 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:31,077 Humphrey, the architect fellow. 66 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:34,152 Morning, Crawford. The Ministerwon't keep a moment. 67 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:36,151 So, what's going to happen? 68 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:38,990 I'll have a minute with him first, 69 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:41,754 but don't expect too much this morning. 70 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:46,511 Think of it as a child's tantrum overa rice pudding. 71 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:49,990 Won't touch it today and yet wants two helpings tomorrow. 72 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,230 Ah, rice pudding... good. 73 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:54,996 I always liked rice pudding. 74 00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:58,517 Minister, it's really excellent. 75 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:01,399 "Hackerspeaks out against towerblocks". 76 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:03,994 "Minister's courageous stand on high buildings". 77 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:05,997 I sound like a steeplejack. 78 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:08,071 What about the popularpress? 79 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:11,391 How do I get into the mass circulation dailies? 80 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:16,236 - What about a photograph? - The papers like a photo of a pretty girl. 81 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,755 I don't quite qualify on that score. 82 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:24,319 Judge a beauty contest, a photo of you kissing the winner. 83 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:27,233 If my picture's in the papers, 84 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:30,437 people should look at me, not some pretty girl. 85 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,512 Otherwise, something with cuddly animals orsmall children, 86 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,194 like this afternoon's visit to the city farm. 87 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,999 Is everything laid on, Mail, Mirror, Express? 88 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:42,232 - And the Sun, Today and Nationwide. - Nationwide? 89 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:45,233 - Will I be on telly? - With any luck. 90 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:49,075 - Well done! - You are a Ministerof the Crown, sir. 91 00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:52,989 There's some baby donkeys laid on to be photographed with. 92 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:55,511 - Donkeys? - Yes, sir. 93 00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:58,752 The Sun specifically asked 94 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:02,196 if you could be photographed amongst the donkeys. 95 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:04,432 What do you think, Bernard? 96 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:09,151 Even if the Sun has no ulteriormotive, it'll be a gift for Private Eye. 97 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:13,951 You with a crowd of otherdonkeys. 98 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:19,757 That's what they would say. Ora meeting of the InnerCabinet. 99 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:24,309 What are you here for, Bernard? 100 00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:27,274 - Sir Humphrey's here. - Very well. 101 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,590 There's also some little pigs. 102 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:32,797 I don't think that's a great improvement. 103 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:36,831 Snouts in the trough jokes, pull yourself together! 104 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:40,515 I will consent to be photographed with a lamb, that's all. 105 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:42,830 - Ah, Humphrey. - Good morning. 106 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,434 Sir Desmond Glazebrook is outside. 107 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:48,876 Glazebrook? That old fool who makes anti-Government speeches? 108 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:52,589 Yes, and you appointed him chairman of the co-partnership commission. 109 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:54,958 What's he want? 110 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:58,237 He wants to talk about his forthcoming application 111 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:01,358 to put more storeys on his bank's office block. 112 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:04,671 That's just the thing we must stop, Humphrey. 113 00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:07,718 Somebody has to speak out about the environment, 114 00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:09,791 take a stand on high buildings. 115 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,315 Thatwould make a good press photograph. 116 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:14,912 Thank you, Bernard. 117 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:18,152 It's up to you, but he does have a good case. 118 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:20,959 Have you read the background papers? 119 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:23,475 Yes, of course. Remind me. 120 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:26,514 The bank points out 121 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,956 that there are already several towerblocks nearby, 122 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:33,715 and it is the international division of the bank, expanding rapidly. 123 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:37,833 It needs a central location. Itwould bring in revenue forthe city. 124 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:41,754 Typical! Money, money, money. What about beauty, Humphrey? 125 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,275 Indeed, Minister, beauty. 126 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:46,516 Make a note of that, Bernard. 127 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:49,148 What about ourchildren? And theirchildren? 128 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:51,880 Exactly, Minister, "Children's children", Bernard. 129 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:55,237 Who are you serving? God or Mammon? 130 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,595 I'm serving you, Minister. 131 00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:00,558 In that case, Humphrey, show Sir Desmond in. 132 00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:06,035 Glazebrook! I'll give him high-rise buildings... 133 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:11,397 Sir Desmond, hownice to see you! What can I do foryou? 134 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:14,154 It's these extra storeys, six of them. 135 00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:18,632 We'll make a formal application later, but any guidance you can give us? 136 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:22,315 I warn you that I have misgivings about towerblocks. 137 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:26,473 This is howwe make profits. Six extra storeys and we clean up. 138 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,871 Without them, we'll only make a measly 28 % on the project. 139 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:33,828 - It's just profits, is it? - Not "Just profits", it's profits! 140 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,709 - You think of anything else? - No, why? 141 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:41,715 - What about beauty? - It's a building, not an oil painting. 142 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,359 And the environment? 143 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:46,990 We'll make sure it's part of the environment. 144 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:50,357 It's bound to be, once it's there. 145 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:54,875 - I'm sorry, Sir Desmond... - There's one thing, Minister. 146 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:59,915 As you know, similarpermission was given to Chartered of New York, 147 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,230 so to refuse a British bank... 148 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,630 Exactly! So it's all right? 149 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:07,712 Er... well... no. No, it isn't. 150 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:12,158 - Why not, damn it? - It-it-it's not necessarily... 151 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:16,916 The Minister is concerned that another tall building will clutterthe skyline. 152 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:19,310 That's right, itwould clutterthe skyline. 153 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:22,756 He's also worried that more workers in the area 154 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:25,388 would strain the transport system. 155 00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:27,676 I'm worried about public transport. 156 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:30,752 Furthermore, he points out that itwill overshadow 157 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:34,310 the playground of the St James Primary School. 158 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:38,632 Itwould overlook private gardens, which would be an intrusion of privacy. 159 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:41,109 Privacy! Pollution! 160 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:46,473 Furthermore, the Ministerpoints out, most astutely, if I may say, 161 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:50,076 that the bank owns a vacant site close by 162 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:52,629 which would accommodate yourexpansion needs. 163 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,631 - Where? - There. 164 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:57,190 That's the river, isn't it? 165 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,833 The Ministerwas referring to this site. 166 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:04,478 - Is that ours? - It is, Sir Desmond. 167 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:07,313 - What's it for? - It's scheduled forphase three. 168 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:11,598 That's scheduled forphase three. Anyway, it's 400 yards away. 169 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:15,150 Difficult forthe board to walk 400 yards to lunch... 170 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:18,232 and impossible to walk back afterwards. 171 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:22,833 Put in yourformal application by all means, 172 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,956 but thatwill be my decision. 173 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:29,356 Minister, suppose we designed a different rice pudding? 174 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,233 - What? - What? 175 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:34,628 Rice pudding? 176 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:38,998 Bankers' jargon forhigh-rise buildings. 177 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,197 Is it? 178 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:45,877 Bernard, show Sir Desmond out. 179 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:47,871 Bye, Sir Desmond. 180 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:49,837 Oh, yes. Right. 181 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:55,757 Thank you, yourreminders were very helpful. 182 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:58,434 - A pleasure. - Real teamwork, what? 183 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:02,718 - Especially as Glazebrook is yourchum. - We're very old friends. 184 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:07,556 But it is as naught compared to a civil servant's duty to his Minister. 185 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:11,552 - Humphrey, do you mean that? - Of course, Minister! 186 00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:14,949 - How very nice. - Thank you. 187 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:18,797 - It's afterhalf past. - I've got to dash. 188 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:21,629 - Urgent appointment? - Very urgent. 189 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:25,270 - Cabinet committee? - That sort of thing. 190 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:29,513 Could you sign this? It's extremely urgent. 191 00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:31,636 Do I have to? I'm late already. 192 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:35,793 It's an administrative order to formalise Government powers 193 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,554 forthe utilisation of unused local authority land 194 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:42,156 until development commences, then it reverts to the authority. 195 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:45,630 Do I have to sign now? Why hasn't it been before the House? 196 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:50,790 If itwere a statutory instrument, itwould have to go before the House, 197 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,190 but it's an administrative order, 198 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:56,352 undersection seven of the Environment Act, 199 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:58,636 which is an enabling section, 200 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:02,031 empowering the Minister to make regulations 201 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:06,716 regarding unused local authority land as necessary from time to time 202 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:10,634 within the framework of the Act, as I'm sure you recollect. 203 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,394 Why doesn't it go before the House? 204 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:19,276 If itwere a statutory instrument, itwould have to go before the House, 205 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:23,035 but because it is an administrative order undersection seven of the... 206 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,839 All right, Humphrey, I have signed it! 207 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,477 Why was that so urgent? 208 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:34,473 - Itwasn't. - But you said itwas. 209 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:36,835 Itwasn't urgent, but itwas important. 210 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,558 Any document transferring 211 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:41,314 decision-making powerto us is important. 212 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:44,278 - Why? - Oh, Bernard! 213 00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:47,193 Don't be obtuse, please. 214 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:50,879 It helps take Government out of politics. 215 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,715 It's Britain's only chance of survival. 216 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:57,156 Couldn't it have waited until he wasn't in a hurry? 217 00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:01,438 When we want Ministers to sign something without asking questions, 218 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:06,435 we wait until they're in a hurry and theirconcentration is weakest. 219 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:09,438 That's why we keep them on the go. 220 00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:15,316 Bernard, where was the Minister rushing off to so secretively? 221 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:18,074 A school children's city farm in Tower Hamlets. 222 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:21,835 My God! The things that man will do forpublicity. 223 00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:26,116 Is he going as a visitor oras an exhibit? 224 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,795 - Very droll, Sir Humphrey. - What? 225 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:47,793 Mrs Philips? I'm Bill Pritchard, the Minister's Press Officer. 226 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:51,157 This is Mrs Philips, the warden of the park. 227 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,073 How do you do? 228 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:57,552 BBC TV. We didn't get yourarrival, could we have it again? 229 00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:00,598 - Sorry? - Could you arrive again? 230 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:03,911 How can he arrive again? He's already here. 231 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:05,957 - Forthe cameras. - Do you mind? 232 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:07,269 Mind what? 233 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,591 Let's see you arriving. 234 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:19,431 Does this often happen? 235 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,916 But I don't understand... 236 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:25,520 Turn over... Action! 237 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:27,752 Wave, everybody! 238 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:39,360 - Welcome, Minister. - It's a great pleasure. 239 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:40,839 I'm glad you've come. 240 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,673 We tried othercelebrities but nobody could come. 241 00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:46,593 - Cut. - What? 242 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,830 - Cut, cut, cut! - Cut. 243 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:53,672 - We'll cut that out, right? - Yes, but... 244 00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:55,717 Not but, cut! 245 00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:59,753 May I introduce you to His Worship, the Mayor? 246 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:04,515 Licence fees are coming up again. 247 00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:24,272 Now, tell me all about this. 248 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,876 This is a piglet. 249 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:30,190 No, tell me about this city farm. 250 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:33,875 There are over50 city farms 251 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:35,672 built in urban wasteland 252 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:39,071 to give children who seldom see the countryside 253 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:42,277 a chance to understand livestock and food production. 254 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:46,194 What a wonderful idea! And this is yourfirst anniversary? 255 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:47,918 - Yes. - Congratulations. 256 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:51,834 Could we have a shot congratulating Mrs Philips forthe television? 257 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,389 Certainly, by all means. 258 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:56,869 Everyone's a ham! Sorry. 259 00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:05,836 So this is yourfirst anniversary here? Good. 260 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,639 Congratulations. Well done. 261 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:11,519 Jolly good show. Very good. 262 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,159 Got enough now? 263 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:17,715 If we may hurry you, make yourspeech first, 264 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:19,438 and then meet the staff. 265 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:21,750 I'd like to do the interview with some of those. 266 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:25,037 - Staff? - No, the children and animals. 267 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:27,789 Is this working? 268 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:30,110 - Got my speech? - I gave it to you. 269 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,350 - No, you've got it. - Have I? 270 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:40,878 It gives me pleasure to welcome MrJames Hacker, 271 00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:43,270 the Minister forAdministrative Affairs, 272 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:45,635 who has found time in his busy schedule 273 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:49,588 to be with us today to celebrate ourfirst anniversary. 274 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:50,909 Thank you. 275 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:56,959 Thank you. It's a great pleasure to be here with you all today. 276 00:16:57,120 --> 00:17:00,351 You know, things are changing fast. 277 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,636 We live in a world of change. 278 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:05,394 The silicon chip is changing our lives. 279 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:08,752 Quality of life is becoming more and more important. 280 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:13,311 Environment, conservation, problems of pollution, the future of ourchildren, 281 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:17,519 and ourchildren's children. These are today's issues. 282 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:22,674 There is, quite rightly, increasing concern about high-rise buildings. 283 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:25,437 I'm happy to reassure you, 284 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:28,194 members of the Architectural Association... 285 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:33,314 I'm so sorry. 286 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:35,513 It's yesterday's speech. 287 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,990 It's the one I have, look in yourpocket. 288 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:43,959 So sorry! 289 00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:47,513 I made a speech yesterday and... 290 00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:53,479 It's a great pleasure to be here at the city farm today. 291 00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:56,670 You know, things are changing fast. 292 00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:00,475 We live in a world of change. 293 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:04,593 The silicon chip... is changing our lives. 294 00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:07,672 Quality of life is more important... 295 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:11,310 Pollution... future of ourchildren's children... 296 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:14,756 These are the issues... The city farm movement 297 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:19,471 is a welcome and important addition to the way of life forchildren in cities. 298 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:24,953 We feel they play a vital part in children's educational and social life. 299 00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:28,874 We shall do all we can to help this movement flourish. 300 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:32,511 Happy birthday. 301 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:37,592 Sue Lawley's arrived, can we do the interviewnow? 302 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:41,070 Yes, set it up with the most attractive children and animals. 303 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,075 Thank you forsaying that, Minister. 304 00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:46,231 Can we really rely on yoursupport? 305 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,112 Of course you can. 306 00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:51,556 Our lease is running out and we have to get it extended. 307 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:57,431 I can't really influence it, but I'll try to help this movement to flourish. 308 00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:01,593 Would you do the interviewnow? This is Sue Lawley of Nationwide. 309 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:04,115 Sue Lawley, what a great pleasure. 310 00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:07,352 I do believe I'm probably yourgreatest fan! 311 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:10,392 Sorry to butt in, 312 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:15,270 but could the children and staff get autographs? 313 00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,032 Autographs? Certainly. 314 00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:26,388 Come on, that's enough. 315 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,996 What did you want to say? 316 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:37,711 I'll ask some questions of the warden and then come to you forcomments. 317 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:41,270 - Where would you like us to be? - Here. 318 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:45,035 - Perhaps with animals and children? - Yes, splendid! 319 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:50,870 Put this sweet little girl on yourknee, Mr Hacker. 320 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:01,399 All right, let's get on with it. 321 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:03,790 Turn over! We're running, Sue. 322 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:08,954 Warden, I understand the lease of this wonderful city farm will run out. 323 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,958 Yes, we've been worried about this. 324 00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:15,715 But I've just had a word with Mr Hacker, 325 00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:18,519 and he has indicated that he will ensure 326 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:20,511 that this farm can carry on. 327 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:25,150 Minister, howwill you ensure this farm keeps running? 328 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:29,757 Er... well... you see... Sue... 329 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:33,595 The fact is, and let me make this clear... 330 00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:38,113 Quality of life is becoming more important, 331 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:42,990 the environment, conservation, problems of pollution... 332 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:45,515 The future of ourchildren... 333 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,879 and ourchildren's children. These are today's issues. 334 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,315 Minister, thank you. 335 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:01,837 I saw yourchap on the television 336 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:03,956 last night cuddling a rabbit. 337 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,874 St Francis ofTower Hamlets. 338 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,711 Whatwas it in aid of? 339 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:12,269 Afterthe rodent vote, I imagine. 340 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:14,995 Quite a good idea, those city farms. 341 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:18,593 Are you still worried about parking at Tower House? 342 00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:23,072 Desperately! It's the majorblockage to recruiting Inland Revenue inspectors. 343 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:26,869 There's a 1 ½½½ acre local authority site nearby 344 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,873 with the lease running out. 345 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:33,669 - Butwe haven't the authority. - You have now. 346 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:38,519 - You mean an orderunderSection 7? - Signed yesterday. 347 00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:43,036 Humphrey! How did you manage it? 348 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:48,473 - What's the site used fornow? - Nothing of any significance. 349 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,915 A city farm forschool children. 350 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,359 Like the one St Francis was visiting? 351 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:56,631 Not the one? 352 00:21:57,360 --> 00:22:00,318 I've always said those things are a bad idea. 353 00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:02,869 Unhygienic and a danger to public health. 354 00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:08,512 It might be good to move quickly, before the lease were renewed. 355 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:13,229 Surely. Won't it put your Minister in a spot? 356 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:19,279 - I'm sure I'll find him a way out. - I'm sure you will. Coffee? 357 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:23,595 No, thanks, I must be getting back to Assisi. 358 00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:28,353 - Thank you for lunch. - Not at all. 359 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:30,750 - Enjoy yourtrip. - Bless you. 360 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,353 Desmond? 361 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:45,798 It's you, Humphrey. 362 00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:57,150 I think I knowhow to get the Ministerto eat his rice pudding. 363 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:04,595 Evening paper, Minister. 364 00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:10,550 - Centre page. - I say! 365 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:13,917 Double-page spread, what about that! 366 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:17,356 "The St Francis ofTower Hamlets". 367 00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:21,877 There's a picture of me with ducks. Anotherwith a small girl. 368 00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:25,589 A black... ethnic... multi... you know, one of... 369 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:27,318 What good publicity! 370 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:31,473 Are there any more city farms to visit? 371 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:34,200 Manchester, Birmingham, Glasgow. 372 00:23:34,360 --> 00:23:38,035 The marginal, I mean, the special development areas. 373 00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,919 Bernard, how about this double-page spread? 374 00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:44,038 Top of the Mirror, Nationwide last night. 375 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,760 You're very quiet, what's the matter? 376 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:50,913 Mrs Philips, Minister, the warden of the city farm you visited yesterday. 377 00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:53,753 Is she pleased with the publicity? 378 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,480 - She doesn't seem pleased. - Why not? 379 00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:59,916 - The farm's being closed. - Closed? 380 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:04,437 It's being turned into a carpark forlnland Revenue inspectors. 381 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:08,998 My God, whatwill they say about this? 382 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,879 "Children and animals evicted by taxman". 383 00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:14,600 "Ministergoes back on TV pledge". 384 00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:18,150 Heavens! This must be stopped. Do something! 385 00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:21,118 - What idiot authorised that? - You did. 386 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,228 - What? - The orderyou signed yesterday 387 00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:27,312 giving Government power over local authority land. 388 00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:29,675 - Section 7, subsection 3. - Get Humphrey. 389 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:33,276 He's on his way and Mrs Philips is in the private office. 390 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,796 This is the greatest disaster this century. 391 00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:39,110 There were two world wars. 392 00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:43,117 Fighting on the beaches is one thing, evicting animals and children 393 00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:46,511 fortax inspectors' cars is another. Ah, Humphrey! 394 00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:50,559 Minister, I saw you on television last night. What a treat! 395 00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:53,553 Nevermind that, what about the city farm being closed? 396 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,712 - The Treasury... - It's got to be stopped! 397 00:24:56,880 --> 00:25:00,555 Unfortunately, it's a Treasury decision and beyond ourjurisdiction. 398 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:04,275 - I shall revoke the order. - That is impossible. Ordifficult. 399 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:07,711 Or inadvisable. Orrequires legislation. One of those. 400 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:12,317 It could not invalidate an action taken while the orderwas in force. 401 00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:14,994 I don't care if it's the Queen and the Pope... 402 00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:19,949 - Judas! - I say, look here. 403 00:25:20,120 --> 00:25:22,509 - You promised to support us! - I'm sorry... 404 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:25,478 You must see that our lease is renewed. 405 00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:28,871 My dear lady, it's not in the Minister's p... 406 00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:34,718 Mr Hacker, you have given yourword. 407 00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:36,279 Are you going to keep it? 408 00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:39,113 I shall leave no stone... every avenue... 409 00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,840 everything that is humanly possible... 410 00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:44,352 - You mean, no. - No. 411 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:48,519 Yes, I mean no. I mean yes. Definitely not. No. 412 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:49,874 Yes, I mean, no. 413 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,677 Very well. Don't say I haven'twarned you. 414 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:58,992 My husband is Deputy Features Editorof the Express. 415 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:03,228 Tomorrowmorning yourname will be manure. 416 00:26:06,120 --> 00:26:09,157 You will be roasted alive by the national press. 417 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:18,672 It falls to fewpeople to be, within the space of 24 hours, 418 00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:21,832 both St Francis and St Joan. 419 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:26,630 Humphrey, something must be done to stop this farm closing. 420 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:29,270 Otherwise, we shall look a complete... 421 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:32,318 Yes? Sir Desmond Glazebrook is outside. 422 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:33,549 What does he want? 423 00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:37,235 - I can't imagine. - Send him in! 424 00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:40,153 It's Open Day at the Department! 425 00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:44,313 Minister, I was passing and I've had an idea. 426 00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:48,155 If you gave us permission foran extra nine storeys... 427 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:49,799 You asked forsix! 428 00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:54,272 If you gave us nine extra storeys, we could postpone phase three 429 00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:56,874 forseven years, leaving this site vacant. 430 00:26:57,080 --> 00:27:00,550 I was reading this morning in the Financial Times 431 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:04,076 about yourvisit to the city farm, a jolly good wheeze. 432 00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:07,994 Ourphase three site is only 200 yards away, 433 00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,515 so you could use it to extend the farm, 434 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:13,274 or if they had to move, it's a bit larger. 435 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:15,398 We thought of calling it 436 00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:18,791 "The James Hacker Cuddly Animal Sanctuary". 437 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,079 Well, "Animal Sanctuary", anyway. 438 00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:26,357 Nine storeys isn't very much, is it? 439 00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:30,080 "James HackerAnimal Sanctuary". 440 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:39,438 Government has to be awfully careful about throttling small businesses. 441 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:42,478 The bank isn't actually a small business. 442 00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:45,552 Itwould be if we throttled it, Bernard. 443 00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:51,953 Afterall, what is anothertowerblock where there are so many? 444 00:27:52,120 --> 00:27:53,951 Yes, indeed, Minister. 445 00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:57,477 I shall be forced to reconsidermy decision. 446 00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,468 We'll give Sir Desmond his six storeys... 447 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:01,640 Nine. 448 00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:06,032 Nine storeys. Let's make a press announcement. 449 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:08,430 The James Hacker Animal Sanctuary! 450 00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:11,319 You were worried about London Transport. 451 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:13,914 They will be glad of the extra fares. 452 00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:15,638 As forthe school... 453 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,030 They mightwelcome the shade. 454 00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:20,953 In the hotweather, certainly. 455 00:28:21,120 --> 00:28:24,510 - And privacy? - There are two sides to privacy. 456 00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:28,434 People might enjoy looking at what goes on in those offices. 457 00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:31,398 Extraordinary things go on in offices, don't they? 458 00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:32,754 Yes, Minister.