1 00:00:51,412 --> 00:00:53,802 What time is he coming? 2 00:00:53,972 --> 00:00:56,884 Any time. Should be here now. 3 00:00:57,532 --> 00:01:01,844 - Perhaps something’s happened to him. - You think he's missed his bus? 4 00:01:02,012 --> 00:01:03,684 No, no, no. 5 00:01:03,852 --> 00:01:08,562 I mean something may have... happened. 6 00:01:11,972 --> 00:01:13,769 Who is he, exactly? 7 00:01:13,932 --> 00:01:17,004 All I know is he's an army officer with something to tell me 8 00:01:17,172 --> 00:01:18,924 he wouldn't divulge on the phone. 9 00:01:19,092 --> 00:01:21,322 - it’s probably nothing. - Perhaps. 10 00:01:21,492 --> 00:01:23,926 Remember Churchill, the wilderness years? 11 00:01:24,732 --> 00:01:27,883 He found out about our military inadequacy 12 00:01:28,052 --> 00:01:29,451 from army officers. 13 00:01:29,612 --> 00:01:34,003 So while he was in the wilderness he could leak stories to the press 14 00:01:34,172 --> 00:01:37,164 and embarrass the government. I could do that! 15 00:01:38,652 --> 00:01:40,768 But you're in the government. 16 00:01:42,372 --> 00:01:43,771 Oh, yes! 17 00:01:46,452 --> 00:01:48,010 I'll get it. 18 00:01:54,772 --> 00:01:57,047 - Major Saunders? - Yes, sir. 19 00:01:57,212 --> 00:01:58,565 Come in. 20 00:02:04,132 --> 00:02:05,565 Follow me. 21 00:02:09,492 --> 00:02:13,531 - it’s all right. My wife, Annie. - Good evening. 22 00:02:13,692 --> 00:02:15,205 - Drink? - Thanks. 23 00:02:15,372 --> 00:02:16,691 - Scotch? - Thanks. 24 00:02:16,852 --> 00:02:18,683 - Sit down. - Thanks. 25 00:02:19,732 --> 00:02:23,361 - No need to keep thanking me. - Thanks. I mean, sorry. 26 00:02:23,532 --> 00:02:27,207 - No need to apologise, either. - Sorry. I mean, thanks. 27 00:02:27,372 --> 00:02:31,843 - Shall I go and let you talk in private? - Please stay, if that's Ok with you. 28 00:02:32,012 --> 00:02:35,322 Yes. No secrets from Annie. I tell her everything. 29 00:02:35,492 --> 00:02:37,164 Several times, usually! 30 00:02:38,812 --> 00:02:43,090 - So, is this highly confidential? - It is, rather, yes. 31 00:02:43,252 --> 00:02:46,642 - Shall I turn on the radio? - Is there something good on? 32 00:02:48,692 --> 00:02:52,765 - In case we're being bugged. - Oh. is that likely? 33 00:02:52,932 --> 00:02:56,322 Who's in charge Of bugging politicians? 34 00:02:56,492 --> 00:02:59,006 Yes, come to think of it, I am! 35 00:02:59,172 --> 00:03:01,049 That's all right, then. 36 00:03:02,652 --> 00:03:05,120 Could I say that what I'm about to tell you 37 00:03:05,292 --> 00:03:07,522 I'm telling you on a personal basis? 38 00:03:07,692 --> 00:03:10,490 Fine... What do you mean, exactly? 39 00:03:10,652 --> 00:03:11,926 I'm telling you personally 40 00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:14,481 and not as Minister for Administrative Affairs. 41 00:03:14,652 --> 00:03:16,802 But I am Minister of Administrative Affairs. 42 00:03:16,972 --> 00:03:19,281 But I'm not telling you in that role. 43 00:03:19,452 --> 00:03:21,488 I'm telling you as a journalist. 44 00:03:21,652 --> 00:03:24,769 Journalist? I thought you were an army officer? 45 00:03:24,932 --> 00:03:28,925 - No, you're a journalist. - I'm a minister. 46 00:03:29,532 --> 00:03:33,047 But what were you before you became a minister? 47 00:03:33,212 --> 00:03:36,090 Your starter for ten, no conferring! 48 00:03:36,252 --> 00:03:37,765 I get your drift. 49 00:03:37,932 --> 00:03:40,002 You're telling me what you're telling me, 50 00:03:40,172 --> 00:03:42,561 though I don't know yet what you're telling me, 51 00:03:42,732 --> 00:03:45,087 as the former editor of “Reform". 52 00:03:45,252 --> 00:03:47,527 Yes. You were a very fine editor. 53 00:03:47,692 --> 00:03:50,411 - I wouldn't say that. - You've often said that! 54 00:03:51,252 --> 00:03:53,846 But how do I prevent myself, as a minister, 55 00:03:54,012 --> 00:03:57,209 from knowing what you'll tell me as a former editor? 56 00:03:57,372 --> 00:03:59,932 I can't prevent the minister from knowing. 57 00:04:00,092 --> 00:04:02,845 - He means it’s a question of hats. - Yes. 58 00:04:03,012 --> 00:04:05,651 I'm not wearing my ministerial hat tonight, 59 00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:07,291 but I ought to warn you, 60 00:04:07,452 --> 00:04:09,602 If I need to be told what you tell me, 61 00:04:09,772 --> 00:04:12,889 I shan't hesitate in my duty to keep myself informed! 62 00:04:16,372 --> 00:04:18,044 Fine. Now, who's in charge 63 00:04:18,212 --> 00:04:20,965 of selling British weapons to foreigners? 64 00:04:21,132 --> 00:04:23,726 - Bzzz. Hacker, LSE. - Shut up, Annie. 65 00:04:26,812 --> 00:04:29,645 You wrote an article in "Reform" about the sale 66 00:04:29,812 --> 00:04:32,565 of British weapons to undesirable foreigners. 67 00:04:32,732 --> 00:04:35,371 Yes, it was called "The Dreadful Trade". 68 00:04:35,532 --> 00:04:39,923 Perfectly patriotic to manufacture arms for our own defence or our allies'. 69 00:04:40,092 --> 00:04:42,925 Although not all our allies are very commendable. 70 00:04:43,092 --> 00:04:45,128 But we must not sell weapons 71 00:04:45,292 --> 00:04:49,808 to bolster the regimes of foreign despots, Nazi dictators... 72 00:04:49,972 --> 00:04:52,850 - Or terrorists. - Terroris... Terrorists? 73 00:04:54,092 --> 00:04:58,404 Terrorists. As I told you, I've recently returned from Rome. 74 00:04:58,572 --> 00:05:02,281 - NATO, wasn't it? - A military delegation to NATO. 75 00:05:02,452 --> 00:05:05,091 While I was there, they showed me something 76 00:05:05,252 --> 00:05:07,971 they'd captured in a raid on a terrorist HQ. 77 00:05:08,132 --> 00:05:10,600 It was a computerised bomb detonator. 78 00:05:10,772 --> 00:05:13,411 Very new, very secret, and very lethal. 79 00:05:13,572 --> 00:05:18,123 - Who showed it to you? - I can't possibly say. it’s a confidence. 80 00:05:18,292 --> 00:05:21,125 I see. Computerised bomb detonator? 81 00:05:21,292 --> 00:05:23,965 You set it to calculate the weight of the victim, 82 00:05:24,132 --> 00:05:26,566 speed of his car, so you're sure to get him, 83 00:05:26,732 --> 00:05:31,442 and you can reprogram it remotely, by radio, after setting it. 84 00:05:31,612 --> 00:05:35,810 Gosh. I don't associate Italians with that sort of technology! 85 00:05:38,452 --> 00:05:42,331 It wasn’t made in Italy. It was made here. 86 00:05:42,492 --> 00:05:43,686 Made in Britain? 87 00:05:43,852 --> 00:05:48,323 Under a Ministry of Defence contract and paid for by the British taxpayer. 88 00:05:48,492 --> 00:05:51,245 - And used by Italian terrorists? - Yes. 89 00:05:51,412 --> 00:05:54,290 - Where did they get them? - That's what I want to know. 90 00:05:54,452 --> 00:05:56,886 You haven't told anybody else? 91 00:05:57,052 --> 00:06:00,647 If I make an official report, I have to disclose my sources. 92 00:06:00,812 --> 00:06:03,804 But if I tell someone near the top of government... 93 00:06:03,972 --> 00:06:06,566 Er, at the top, actually. 94 00:06:08,852 --> 00:06:13,050 Yes, that secret British equipment was being supplied to Italian terrorists, 95 00:06:13,212 --> 00:06:15,806 - then he would, er... - Absolutely. 96 00:06:16,652 --> 00:06:18,131 What would he? 97 00:06:18,932 --> 00:06:20,445 Find out how it’s being done. 98 00:06:20,612 --> 00:06:24,127 The investigation would have to start in Britain at the top level. 99 00:06:24,692 --> 00:06:25,807 Fine. 100 00:06:26,532 --> 00:06:30,127 But you told me you were telling me on a personal level. 101 00:06:30,292 --> 00:06:33,489 Yes, but now you know personally, if not officially, 102 00:06:33,652 --> 00:06:35,927 you can use your personal knowledge 103 00:06:36,092 --> 00:06:37,844 to start official investigations 104 00:06:38,012 --> 00:06:40,890 to get official confirmation of personal suspicions 105 00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:44,362 so what you now know personally, but not officially, 106 00:06:44,532 --> 00:06:47,000 you will then know officially as well as personally. 107 00:06:48,052 --> 00:06:51,283 You're not related to Sir Humphrey Appleby by any chance? 108 00:06:52,572 --> 00:06:54,722 - Who? - Never mind! 109 00:06:55,252 --> 00:06:58,050 - I felt I had to tell someone. - Absolutely. 110 00:06:58,212 --> 00:07:01,761 Well, now I know, personally. 111 00:07:01,932 --> 00:07:05,242 Marvellous. Gong to do something about it, aren't you? 112 00:07:06,332 --> 00:07:09,130 - Absolutely, indeed I am. - Right away? 113 00:07:09,532 --> 00:07:10,851 Right away. 114 00:07:12,812 --> 00:07:15,121 What are you gong to do? 115 00:07:16,452 --> 00:07:20,650 I'm gong to think about what you've told me. Right away. 116 00:07:22,612 --> 00:07:23,806 And then? 117 00:07:23,972 --> 00:07:28,682 Then I will consider various courses of action. 118 00:07:28,852 --> 00:07:32,003 - Without delay. - You'll take action without delay. 119 00:07:32,172 --> 00:07:34,527 I will consider taking action without delay. 120 00:07:34,692 --> 00:07:37,445 Are you related to Sir Humphrey Appleby? 121 00:07:37,612 --> 00:07:41,207 - Like another drink? - No, I must be off. 122 00:07:41,372 --> 00:07:44,409 Can I rely on you to tackle this shocking matter? 123 00:07:44,572 --> 00:07:46,130 Indeed you can. 124 00:07:46,852 --> 00:07:48,968 - Goodbye. - Goodnight. 125 00:07:50,532 --> 00:07:53,649 - Goodnight, Major. - Goodnight, sir. 126 00:08:00,012 --> 00:08:03,163 - What do you think? - You'll do something? 127 00:08:03,332 --> 00:08:05,607 I certainly will, if it’s right. 128 00:08:05,892 --> 00:08:08,531 But I can't believe it’s true. 129 00:08:08,692 --> 00:08:10,842 Could it happen? 130 00:08:11,492 --> 00:08:13,687 Couldn't. Could it? 131 00:08:14,692 --> 00:08:17,331 It's not just that it shouldn't. It couldn't. 132 00:08:17,492 --> 00:08:19,767 And if it could, it wouldn’t. Would it? 133 00:08:19,932 --> 00:08:23,049 You are related to Sir Humphrey Appleby! 134 00:08:25,492 --> 00:08:28,802 Humphrey, I must talk to you about something 135 00:08:28,972 --> 00:08:30,849 which concerns me deeply. 136 00:08:31,012 --> 00:08:33,321 Really profoundly important. 137 00:08:33,492 --> 00:08:36,325 The amendment to the order on stock control 138 00:08:36,492 --> 00:08:38,403 in government establishments? 139 00:08:38,572 --> 00:08:41,530 The procedure for renewal of local authority leaseholds 140 00:08:41,692 --> 00:08:43,091 in development areas? 141 00:08:43,252 --> 00:08:48,167 No, what concerns me is a great issue really of life and death. 142 00:08:48,332 --> 00:08:50,892 Shouldn't that wait till after work? 143 00:08:52,492 --> 00:08:56,041 - It is work. - Really? Please go on. 144 00:08:56,212 --> 00:08:58,601 How do British armaments manufacturers 145 00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:00,649 sell their arms to foreigners? 146 00:09:00,812 --> 00:09:04,407 You get an export licence from the Department of Trade. 147 00:09:04,572 --> 00:09:07,040 Private firms can sell their arms abroad? 148 00:09:07,212 --> 00:09:10,363 - Companies and government agencies. - To whom? 149 00:09:10,532 --> 00:09:13,046 - Foreign governments, usually. - Is that all? 150 00:09:13,212 --> 00:09:16,488 Well, sometimes you can sell to an arms dealer, third party. 151 00:09:16,652 --> 00:09:20,884 A man in Manchester buys on behalf of a party in the Channel Islands 152 00:09:21,052 --> 00:09:22,849 with contacts in Luxembourg... 153 00:09:23,012 --> 00:09:26,209 There's no real control over who the arms go to in the end? 154 00:09:26,372 --> 00:09:30,763 Indeed there is. The dealer has to provide an end user certificate 155 00:09:30,932 --> 00:09:34,083 which is a signature acceptable to the government 156 00:09:34,252 --> 00:09:37,164 that the ultimate customer Is an approved user. 157 00:09:37,332 --> 00:09:38,970 Is that a real guarantee? 158 00:09:39,132 --> 00:09:41,885 Would you be surprised if a British aircraft carrier 159 00:09:42,052 --> 00:09:44,361 turned up in the Central African Republic? 160 00:09:46,372 --> 00:09:48,522 I, for one, would be very surprised. 161 00:09:48,692 --> 00:09:50,364 It's 1,000 miles inland! 162 00:09:53,372 --> 00:09:56,842 You know what I mean. What about smaller weapons? 163 00:09:57,012 --> 00:09:59,526 It's officially impossible. Stringent security, 164 00:09:59,692 --> 00:10:02,331 rigorous inspections, meticulous scrutiny. 165 00:10:02,492 --> 00:10:04,642 You mean it’s all a facade? 166 00:10:09,652 --> 00:10:13,361 I think this conversation should end here. 167 00:10:13,532 --> 00:10:15,807 No, it’s as I thought. 168 00:10:15,972 --> 00:10:18,691 A confidential source has disclosed to me 169 00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:22,561 that British arms are being sold to Italian terrorists. 170 00:10:22,932 --> 00:10:26,686 I see. May I ask who this confidential source was? 171 00:10:26,852 --> 00:10:29,412 Humphrey, I said it was confidential. 172 00:10:29,572 --> 00:10:33,565 Sorry. I naturally assumed that meant you were gong to tell me. 173 00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:35,605 You don't seem worried. 174 00:10:35,772 --> 00:10:38,650 It happens all the time. It's not our problem. 175 00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:42,043 So does robbery with violence. Doesn't that worry you? 176 00:10:42,212 --> 00:10:44,407 No, Minister. Home Office problem. 177 00:10:45,252 --> 00:10:49,325 Humphrey, we're letting terrorists have murderous weapons! 178 00:10:49,492 --> 00:10:51,881 - We're not. - Well, who is? 179 00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:55,806 Who knows? Department of Trade? Ministry of Defence? Foreign Office? 180 00:10:55,972 --> 00:10:58,611 We, Humphrey, the British government. 181 00:10:58,772 --> 00:11:03,050 Innocent lives set at risk by British arms in the hands of terrorists. 182 00:11:03,572 --> 00:11:06,564 Only Italian lives, not British lives, Minister. 183 00:11:07,452 --> 00:11:11,331 - Could be British tourists abroad. - Tourists? Foreign Office problem. 184 00:11:11,492 --> 00:11:15,849 - Humphrey, we have to do something. - With respect, we have to do nothing. 185 00:11:16,012 --> 00:11:18,765 - What do you mean? - The sale of arms abroad 186 00:11:18,932 --> 00:11:22,208 Is one area of government we do not examine too closely. 187 00:11:22,372 --> 00:11:24,806 - I have to, now I know. - Say you don't know. 188 00:11:24,972 --> 00:11:27,884 - Are you suggesting I lie? - Not you, Minister, no. 189 00:11:28,052 --> 00:11:31,203 - Well, who should lie? - Sleeping dogs, Minister. 190 00:11:32,892 --> 00:11:35,486 - I'm gong to raise this. - No, I beg you. 191 00:11:35,652 --> 00:11:39,531 A rule of government is never look into anything you don't have to, 192 00:11:39,692 --> 00:11:43,162 never start an enquiry unless you know what its findings will be. 193 00:11:43,332 --> 00:11:46,483 I can't believe this! We're talking about good and evil. 194 00:11:46,652 --> 00:11:49,530 - Church of England problem. - No, Humphrey! 195 00:11:49,692 --> 00:11:53,651 Our problem. We are discussing right and wrong. 196 00:11:53,812 --> 00:11:57,327 I'm not. It's misuse of government time. 197 00:11:57,492 --> 00:12:03,681 - Selling arms to terrorists is wrong. - Either you sell arms or you don't. 198 00:12:03,892 --> 00:12:07,885 If you sell them, they end up with people who can afford them. 199 00:12:08,052 --> 00:12:10,486 But not terrorists? 200 00:12:10,652 --> 00:12:12,210 I suppose we could put 201 00:12:12,372 --> 00:12:15,284 a government health warning on the rifle butts! 202 00:12:15,972 --> 00:12:18,964 "This gun can seriously damage your health." 203 00:12:19,132 --> 00:12:22,044 You may take this lightly, but we cannot close our eyes 204 00:12:22,212 --> 00:12:24,328 to something as morally wrong as this. 205 00:12:24,492 --> 00:12:27,086 If you insist on discussing moral issues, 206 00:12:27,252 --> 00:12:29,812 something is either morally wrong or it isn’t. 207 00:12:29,972 --> 00:12:31,928 It can't be slightly morally wrong. 208 00:12:32,092 --> 00:12:35,846 - Don't quibble. - Government isn’t about morality. 209 00:12:36,012 --> 00:12:40,608 - Really? What is it about? - Stability. Keeping things gong. 210 00:12:40,772 --> 00:12:45,050 Preventing anarchy. Stopping society falling to bits. Still being here tomorrow. 211 00:12:45,212 --> 00:12:47,521 - What for? - I beg your pardon? 212 00:12:47,692 --> 00:12:51,128 What is the purpose of government if not for doling good? 213 00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:55,444 Government isn’t about good and evil. It's about order or chaos. 214 00:12:55,612 --> 00:13:00,128 It's in order for Italian terrorists to get British bombs? 215 00:13:00,292 --> 00:13:02,931 - You don't care? - it’s not my job to care. 216 00:13:03,092 --> 00:13:07,005 That's what politicians are for. My job is to carry out policy. 217 00:13:07,172 --> 00:13:11,802 - Even if you think it’s wrong? - Almost all government policy is wrong... 218 00:13:12,412 --> 00:13:14,528 frightfully well carried out! 219 00:13:17,132 --> 00:13:20,966 Have you ever known a civil servant resign on a matter of principle? 220 00:13:21,572 --> 00:13:24,609 I should think not! What an appalling suggestion! 221 00:13:26,412 --> 00:13:28,607 For the first time, I fully understand 222 00:13:28,772 --> 00:13:31,889 that you are purely committed to means and not ends! 223 00:13:32,052 --> 00:13:34,520 As far as I'm concerned, and all my colleagues, 224 00:13:34,692 --> 00:13:37,445 there is no difference between means and ends. 225 00:13:37,612 --> 00:13:40,968 If you believe that, Humphrey, you will go to hell. 226 00:13:44,212 --> 00:13:47,204 Minister, I had no idea you had a theological bent. 227 00:13:48,532 --> 00:13:53,128 - You are a moral vacuum. - If you say so, Minister. 228 00:13:53,292 --> 00:13:57,649 - Time for your lunch appointment. - You're keeping very quiet, Bernard. 229 00:13:57,812 --> 00:14:01,168 - What would you do about all this? - I would keep very quiet. 230 00:14:02,532 --> 00:14:05,604 So may we drop this matter of arms sales? 231 00:14:05,772 --> 00:14:07,000 No, we may not! 232 00:14:07,172 --> 00:14:10,005 I'm gong to tell the Prime Minister personally. 233 00:14:10,172 --> 00:14:12,003 Make an appointment, Bernard. 234 00:14:12,172 --> 00:14:14,970 This is the sort of thing he wants to know about. 235 00:14:15,132 --> 00:14:19,410 I assure you, this is the sort of thing he wants not to know about. 236 00:14:19,932 --> 00:14:22,207 We shall see about that. 237 00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:26,210 Indeed we will. 238 00:14:28,652 --> 00:14:30,244 What's the matter, Bernard? 239 00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:33,165 - Nothing really, Sir Humphrey. - You look unhappy. 240 00:14:33,332 --> 00:14:35,607 I was wondering if the minister was right. 241 00:14:35,772 --> 00:14:38,206 Very unlikely. What about? 242 00:14:38,372 --> 00:14:39,930 About ends and means. 243 00:14:40,092 --> 00:14:42,970 Will I end up as a moral vacuum, too? 244 00:14:45,572 --> 00:14:47,802 Oh, I hope so, Bernard. 245 00:14:49,772 --> 00:14:52,047 If you work hard enough. 246 00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,881 Makes me feel rather downcast. 247 00:14:55,052 --> 00:14:57,486 If it’s our job to carry out government policies, 248 00:14:57,652 --> 00:14:59,324 shouldn’t we believe in them? 249 00:14:59,492 --> 00:15:02,211 Oh, what an extraordinary idea! 250 00:15:02,932 --> 00:15:05,082 - Why? - Bernard... 251 00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:09,484 I have served 11 governments in the past 30 years. 252 00:15:09,652 --> 00:15:11,927 If I'd believed in all their policies, 253 00:15:12,092 --> 00:15:16,324 I'd have been passionately committed to keeping out of the Common Market, 254 00:15:16,492 --> 00:15:19,052 and passionately committed to joining it. 255 00:15:19,212 --> 00:15:23,171 I'd have been utterly convinced of the rightness of nationalising steel 256 00:15:23,332 --> 00:15:25,971 and of denationalising it and renationalising it. 257 00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:28,405 Capital punishment? 258 00:15:28,572 --> 00:15:32,087 I'd have been a fervent retentionist and an ardent abolitionist. 259 00:15:32,252 --> 00:15:34,720 I'd have been a Keynesian and a Friedmanite, 260 00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:37,201 a grammar school preserver and destroyer, 261 00:15:37,372 --> 00:15:40,762 a nationalisation freak and a privatisation maniac, 262 00:15:40,932 --> 00:15:45,687 but above all, I would have been a stark-staring raving schizophrenic! 263 00:15:46,452 --> 00:15:48,408 So what do we believe in? 264 00:15:48,572 --> 00:15:52,326 At this moment, Bernard, we believe in stopping the minister 265 00:15:52,492 --> 00:15:54,722 from informing the Prime Minister. 266 00:15:54,892 --> 00:15:58,567 - But why? - Because once the Prime Minister knows, 267 00:15:58,732 --> 00:16:01,724 there will have to be an enquiry, like Watergate. 268 00:16:01,892 --> 00:16:06,408 The investigation of a trivial break-In led to one ghastly revelation after another 269 00:16:06,572 --> 00:16:09,450 and finally the downfall of a president. 270 00:16:09,612 --> 00:16:13,287 The golden rule is don't lift lids off cans of worms. 271 00:16:13,452 --> 00:16:17,001 - No, Sir Humphrey. - Everything is connected to everything else. 272 00:16:17,172 --> 00:16:19,732 - Who said that? - The Cabinet Secretary 273 00:16:20,612 --> 00:16:23,206 Nearly right. Actually, it was Lenin. 274 00:16:25,572 --> 00:16:29,406 How do you stop a Cabinet Minister talking to a Prime Minister? 275 00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:32,484 - Interesting question. You tell me. - I don't know. 276 00:16:32,652 --> 00:16:35,530 Work it out. You're supposed to be a high-flier. 277 00:16:35,692 --> 00:16:40,527 Or are you really a low-flier supported by occasional gusts of wind? 278 00:16:42,292 --> 00:16:47,207 Well, you can't stop the minister seeing the PM, can you? 279 00:16:47,372 --> 00:16:50,569 - I can't. - Nor can the private office at No. 10. 280 00:16:50,732 --> 00:16:53,963 - Correct. - It must be someone high up in government. 281 00:16:54,132 --> 00:16:56,771 - Getting warmer. - Someone close to the PM. 282 00:16:56,932 --> 00:16:59,765 Someone who can frighten the minister... 283 00:16:59,932 --> 00:17:02,924 - The Chief Whip? - Excellent, you've learnt a lot. 284 00:17:03,092 --> 00:17:06,641 - So, how do you crack the whip? - I'm sorry 285 00:17:07,852 --> 00:17:10,650 How do you mobilise the Chief Whip? 286 00:17:10,812 --> 00:17:15,169 The minister's asked me to phone the PM's private office for an appointment, 287 00:17:15,332 --> 00:17:18,324 so if you had a word with the Cabinet Secretary, 288 00:17:18,492 --> 00:17:20,722 and he had a word with the diary secretary, 289 00:17:20,892 --> 00:17:23,531 and they all had a word with the Whip’s office... 290 00:17:25,532 --> 00:17:27,363 then when the minister arrived, 291 00:17:27,532 --> 00:17:30,365 the Whip could meet him and say the PM is busy 292 00:17:30,532 --> 00:17:34,002 and asked him to have a word with the minister instead. 293 00:17:34,732 --> 00:17:36,848 Excellent, Bernard. 294 00:17:37,652 --> 00:17:40,644 You should have taken a degree in engineering! 295 00:17:41,772 --> 00:17:45,367 - What are you doling? - You wanted the Cabinet Secretary. 296 00:17:45,532 --> 00:17:49,525 I do, indeed. Now, do you, as the minister's private secretary, 297 00:17:49,692 --> 00:17:53,685 feel obliged to tell the minister of this conversation? 298 00:17:55,812 --> 00:17:57,689 What conversation? 299 00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:02,604 Well done, Bernard. You'll be a moral vacuum yet! 300 00:18:10,732 --> 00:18:12,290 Ah, Jim. 301 00:18:12,452 --> 00:18:15,410 My dear chap, how nice to see you. 302 00:18:15,572 --> 00:18:17,483 Vic, I was hoping to see the Prime Minister. 303 00:18:17,652 --> 00:18:18,641 Yes. 304 00:18:18,812 --> 00:18:22,282 The PM's rather busy today. Asked me to see you instead. 305 00:18:22,452 --> 00:18:25,012 Vic, it’s not a matter for the Chief Whip. 306 00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:29,484 The PM asked me to have a preliminary conversation and write a background note. 307 00:18:29,652 --> 00:18:31,483 Save time later. 308 00:18:35,572 --> 00:18:39,451 Well, I've been given some pretty dramatic information. 309 00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:41,041 Go on. 310 00:18:41,212 --> 00:18:44,045 The Italian Red Terrorists are being supplied 311 00:18:44,212 --> 00:18:46,168 with top secret bomb detonators 312 00:18:46,332 --> 00:18:49,449 made in this country, in a government factory. 313 00:18:50,092 --> 00:18:54,961 - And you feel you should tell the PM? - Yes, the PM's head of security. 314 00:18:55,132 --> 00:18:58,966 I don't think it’s anything to burden the PM with. Let's hold it over. 315 00:18:59,132 --> 00:19:02,522 - Forget all about it? - That's my recommendation. 316 00:19:03,252 --> 00:19:07,040 I'm sorry, Vic, I can't accept it. The PM must be told. 317 00:19:08,332 --> 00:19:12,041 If the PM is told, there'd have to be an enquiry. 318 00:19:12,212 --> 00:19:15,602 Perhaps revealing other undesirable, even hostile, governments 319 00:19:15,772 --> 00:19:18,161 had been supplied with British-made arms. 320 00:19:18,332 --> 00:19:19,321 Seriously? 321 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:23,451 Perhaps. It might be highly embarrassing to our Cabinet colleagues, 322 00:19:23,612 --> 00:19:28,447 Foreign Secretary, Defence Secretary, Trade Secretary, and to the PM personally. 323 00:19:29,532 --> 00:19:32,251 Doling the right thing might be embarrassing sometimes, 324 00:19:32,412 --> 00:19:34,448 but that's no reason for not doling it. 325 00:19:35,492 --> 00:19:38,962 You know we already sell arms to Syria, Chile, Iran? 326 00:19:39,132 --> 00:19:42,488 - it’s officially approved. - You like what they do with them? 327 00:19:42,652 --> 00:19:45,371 Well, obviously not entirely. 328 00:19:45,772 --> 00:19:48,491 Either you're in the arms business or you’re not! 329 00:19:48,652 --> 00:19:52,247 If being in it means arming terrorists, 330 00:19:52,412 --> 00:19:55,370 - we should be out, it’s immoral. - Oh, great! 331 00:19:55,852 --> 00:19:57,171 Great! 332 00:19:57,692 --> 00:20:01,162 Is it moral to put 100,000 British workers out of a job? 333 00:20:01,332 --> 00:20:04,449 And exports, two billion a year gone, for starters. 334 00:20:05,132 --> 00:20:07,646 And votes? Where do you think the government 335 00:20:07,812 --> 00:20:09,564 places those weapons contracts? 336 00:20:09,732 --> 00:20:13,691 - In marginal constituencies, obviously. - Exactly. 337 00:20:13,852 --> 00:20:18,084 All I'm saying is that now that I know, the Prime Minister must be told. 338 00:20:18,252 --> 00:20:20,004 - Why? - Why? 339 00:20:20,172 --> 00:20:22,163 Just because you've caught something nasty, 340 00:20:22,332 --> 00:20:25,449 why do you have to breathe over everyone? 341 00:20:26,372 --> 00:20:28,932 Are you happy in the Cabinet? 342 00:20:29,092 --> 00:20:31,652 - Yes, of course I am! - Do you want to stay in it? 343 00:20:34,132 --> 00:20:35,770 Well, then? 344 00:20:35,932 --> 00:20:38,605 Sorry, Vic, but there is such a thing as duty. 345 00:20:38,772 --> 00:20:41,969 Sometimes one must follow one's conscience. 346 00:20:42,132 --> 00:20:43,281 For God’s sake! 347 00:20:44,532 --> 00:20:47,922 Must you flash about your petty little conscience? 348 00:20:48,092 --> 00:20:50,242 Don't you think anybody else has got one? 349 00:20:51,532 --> 00:20:54,524 Have you no conscience for the government? 350 00:20:54,692 --> 00:20:55,727 Of course! 351 00:20:55,892 --> 00:21:00,283 The PM is on the verge of signing an international anti-terrorist agreement. 352 00:21:00,452 --> 00:21:03,205 - I didn’t know. - There's a lot you don't know. 353 00:21:03,372 --> 00:21:07,331 Can't you see it’s essential to deal with major policy 354 00:21:07,492 --> 00:21:10,211 rather than a few arms exporters and terrorists? 355 00:21:10,372 --> 00:21:13,648 Yes, I suppose it is just a couple of terrorist groups. 356 00:21:13,812 --> 00:21:17,168 - Can't kill that many people, can they? - Suppose not! 357 00:21:17,332 --> 00:21:21,644 And you want to blow it all in a fit of moral self-Indulgence! 358 00:21:23,652 --> 00:21:28,567 After all, with the PM thinking about you as the next Foreign Secretary... 359 00:21:31,852 --> 00:21:33,410 Do you mean that? 360 00:21:33,812 --> 00:21:35,040 Good Lord! 361 00:21:36,332 --> 00:21:41,087 So if you want to martyr yourself, go ahead and press for an enquiry. 362 00:21:41,252 --> 00:21:45,131 Feel free to jeopardise everything we've worked for all these years. 363 00:21:45,292 --> 00:21:47,010 No, no. Obviously it’s appalling 364 00:21:47,172 --> 00:21:50,403 If Italian terrorists are getting hold of British weapons, 365 00:21:50,572 --> 00:21:54,963 but there is such a thing as loyalty, the common purpose. 366 00:21:55,132 --> 00:21:59,523 I suppose one must see these things in a proper perspective. 367 00:21:59,692 --> 00:22:02,650 If it was the Ministry of Defence, Board of Trade. 368 00:22:02,812 --> 00:22:05,770 Ministry of Defence, Board of Trade problem. 369 00:22:05,932 --> 00:22:08,321 Foreign Office problem. I can see that now. 370 00:22:08,492 --> 00:22:11,211 So we can hold it over for the time being? 371 00:22:11,372 --> 00:22:14,603 Don’t want to upset and embarrass the PM! 372 00:22:14,772 --> 00:22:17,570 Absolutely not. Definitely not. No. 373 00:22:19,452 --> 00:22:21,568 Sorry I mentioned it. 374 00:22:23,052 --> 00:22:24,724 Good man! 375 00:22:25,852 --> 00:22:29,561 So I thought on balance It was best to leave it at that. 376 00:22:29,732 --> 00:22:31,688 Let sleeping dogs lie... 377 00:22:31,852 --> 00:22:33,843 in the wilder interest. 378 00:22:34,012 --> 00:22:36,606 As a loyal member of the government. 379 00:22:37,412 --> 00:22:40,529 Nothing to be gained. Opening a can of worms. 380 00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:42,808 The major said they were terrorists. 381 00:22:43,452 --> 00:22:44,965 Yes, well... 382 00:22:45,132 --> 00:22:48,010 We bombed Dresden. We're all terrorists. 383 00:22:48,172 --> 00:22:49,161 No. 384 00:22:49,692 --> 00:22:51,922 I mean metaphorically. 385 00:22:52,412 --> 00:22:54,721 You should meet the Chief Whip. He certainly is! 386 00:22:55,852 --> 00:22:58,764 Someone in Britain’s giving bombs to murderers. 387 00:22:58,932 --> 00:23:00,126 Selling, not giving. 388 00:23:00,292 --> 00:23:02,806 - That makes it Ok? - Be serious, Annie. 389 00:23:02,972 --> 00:23:05,566 An investigation might uncover all sorts. 390 00:23:05,732 --> 00:23:08,929 I see. Investigate If you can catch one criminal, 391 00:23:09,092 --> 00:23:10,684 but not if you might catch lots! 392 00:23:10,852 --> 00:23:13,924 If they're your Cabinet colleagues, you're right! 393 00:23:14,452 --> 00:23:17,285 Government is a very complex business, Annie. 394 00:23:17,452 --> 00:23:19,568 There are so many conflicting considerations. 395 00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:21,882 Whether to do the right thing or wrong thing. 396 00:23:22,052 --> 00:23:23,963 Exactly. No... 397 00:23:24,132 --> 00:23:26,726 What do you suggest I do? 398 00:23:26,892 --> 00:23:29,326 - Take a moral stand. - How 399 00:23:29,492 --> 00:23:32,768 - Threaten resignation. - They'd accept it! 400 00:23:32,932 --> 00:23:34,888 Then where would I be? 401 00:23:35,052 --> 00:23:38,965 If I'm gone, I'm not in a position to do any good any more. 402 00:23:39,132 --> 00:23:40,531 You're not doling good now. 403 00:23:40,692 --> 00:23:43,126 Resignation may be a sop to our consciences, 404 00:23:43,292 --> 00:23:45,931 but it won’t stop terrorists getting British bombs. 405 00:23:46,092 --> 00:23:49,289 - It might if you tell what you know. - What do I know 406 00:23:49,972 --> 00:23:52,645 I've no hard facts. I know it’s gong on 407 00:23:52,812 --> 00:23:55,201 because nobody's denied it, but that's not proof. 408 00:23:55,732 --> 00:23:57,962 Can't you see? I'm in a real fix. 409 00:23:58,132 --> 00:24:01,568 I don't think you realise just how real a fix you're in. 410 00:24:01,732 --> 00:24:03,404 This letter arrived today. 411 00:24:04,092 --> 00:24:06,322 From Major Saunders. 412 00:24:09,652 --> 00:24:12,291 "Dear Mr Hacker. Thank you for seeing me. 413 00:24:12,452 --> 00:24:15,524 Such a relief to have told you about the supply 414 00:24:15,692 --> 00:24:18,365 of British weapons to Italian terrorists. 415 00:24:19,052 --> 00:24:22,567 I know you will act upon this information as you promised 416 00:24:22,732 --> 00:24:25,451 and I look forward to seeing some action taken." 417 00:24:26,212 --> 00:24:27,565 You see? 418 00:24:27,852 --> 00:24:30,446 What will you do when Major Saunders tells the world 419 00:24:30,612 --> 00:24:32,762 he told you about it and you did nothing? 420 00:24:33,292 --> 00:24:35,408 It's a photocopy. He's got the original. 421 00:24:35,572 --> 00:24:38,291 It was recorded delivery, so you did get it. 422 00:24:39,212 --> 00:24:40,486 I'm trapped! 423 00:24:42,492 --> 00:24:43,891 Completely trapped! 424 00:24:44,212 --> 00:24:46,806 I can't tell the PM, I can't not tell the PM. 425 00:24:46,972 --> 00:24:47,961 I see. 426 00:24:48,132 --> 00:24:51,249 Might we not use the Rhodesia Solution? 427 00:24:53,012 --> 00:24:54,889 Bernard, you excel yourself! 428 00:24:55,492 --> 00:24:57,881 Of course, Minister, the Rhodesia Solution! 429 00:24:58,052 --> 00:25:00,168 - What's that? - Oil sanctions. 430 00:25:00,332 --> 00:25:03,927 A member of the government was told about sanction-busting. 431 00:25:04,092 --> 00:25:05,764 - What did he do? - Told the PM. 432 00:25:05,932 --> 00:25:09,208 He told the PM in a way the PM didn’t hear him. 433 00:25:09,372 --> 00:25:14,651 Oh. Do you mean I should mumble it in the Division lobby? 434 00:25:14,812 --> 00:25:18,282 - No, Minister, you write a note. - Very faint pencil? 435 00:25:18,452 --> 00:25:21,205 - Please, be practical. - it’s awfully obvious. 436 00:25:21,372 --> 00:25:24,330 Write a note susceptible of misinterpretation. 437 00:25:24,492 --> 00:25:25,481 Oh, I see! 438 00:25:25,652 --> 00:25:29,406 "Dear Prime Minister, I believe Italian Red Terrorists 439 00:25:29,572 --> 00:25:32,006 have secret British bomb-making equipment." 440 00:25:32,172 --> 00:25:33,890 How do you misinterpret that? 441 00:25:34,052 --> 00:25:36,612 You can't. So you don't write that. 442 00:25:36,772 --> 00:25:40,890 You use a more circumspect style with no mention of bombs or terrorists. 443 00:25:41,052 --> 00:25:44,886 - Isn't that what it’s all about? - Bernard, write this down. 444 00:25:45,052 --> 00:25:48,203 "My attention has been drawn to information 445 00:25:48,372 --> 00:25:51,967 which suggests possible irregularities under..." 446 00:25:52,132 --> 00:25:55,807 Section 1 of the Import, Export and Customs Powers Defence Act 1939c. 447 00:25:55,972 --> 00:25:57,564 Thank you, Bernard. 448 00:25:57,732 --> 00:26:01,520 You then suggest that somebody else should do something about it. 449 00:26:01,692 --> 00:26:05,241 "Evidence suggests there may be a case for further investigation 450 00:26:05,412 --> 00:26:08,449 to establish whether enquires should be put in hand." 451 00:26:08,612 --> 00:26:10,489 Then you smudge it all over. 452 00:26:11,172 --> 00:26:15,563 "Nevertheless, it should be stressed that available information is limited 453 00:26:15,732 --> 00:26:19,520 and facts could be difficult to establish with any certainty." 454 00:26:19,692 --> 00:26:22,889 If there's an enquiry, you'd be in the clear 455 00:26:23,052 --> 00:26:25,202 and everybody would understand the busy PM 456 00:26:25,372 --> 00:26:27,567 might not have grasped the implications. 457 00:26:27,732 --> 00:26:31,645 - They certainly would! That's most unclear. - Thank you, Minister! 458 00:26:31,812 --> 00:26:34,690 You arrange for the letter to arrive at No. 10 459 00:26:34,852 --> 00:26:37,446 on the day the PM has an overseas summit! 460 00:26:37,612 --> 00:26:40,001 So there is also doubt about whether it was the PM 461 00:26:40,172 --> 00:26:42,402 or the acting PM who read the note. 462 00:26:42,572 --> 00:26:44,722 It's seen as a breakdown in communication, 463 00:26:44,892 --> 00:26:47,326 everyone's cleared and can get on with things. 464 00:26:47,492 --> 00:26:50,848 - Including the Red Terrorists! - Exactly... Bernard! 465 00:26:52,252 --> 00:26:54,812 I'll tell you about government. 466 00:26:54,972 --> 00:26:57,805 You must always try to do the right thing. 467 00:26:57,972 --> 00:27:01,760 But you must never let anybody catch you trying to do it 468 00:27:01,932 --> 00:27:04,810 because doling right’s wrong. Right? 469 00:27:04,972 --> 00:27:09,284 - Haven't you had enough, darling? - There's still some left in the bottle. 470 00:27:10,372 --> 00:27:13,250 No, the thing about government Is principle. 471 00:27:13,412 --> 00:27:17,610 And the principle Is you mustn't rock the boat... 472 00:27:17,772 --> 00:27:22,129 because if you do, all the little consciences will fall out. 473 00:27:22,892 --> 00:27:25,167 And you must all hang together. 474 00:27:25,332 --> 00:27:29,928 Because if you don't hang together, you'll all be hanged separately. 475 00:27:30,092 --> 00:27:32,447 I'm hanged if I'll be hanged! 476 00:27:34,372 --> 00:27:38,684 You know... politics is about helping others. 477 00:27:40,292 --> 00:27:43,409 Even if that means helping terrorists. 478 00:27:44,332 --> 00:27:48,371 Terrorists are others, aren't they? Not us, are they? 479 00:27:49,052 --> 00:27:50,201 No. 480 00:27:50,572 --> 00:27:53,370 And you must always follow your conscience, 481 00:27:53,532 --> 00:27:55,921 but you must know where you're gong. 482 00:27:56,852 --> 00:27:59,525 So you can't follow your conscience. 483 00:27:59,692 --> 00:28:03,128 'Cause it may not be gong the same way that you are. 484 00:28:04,172 --> 00:28:07,005 Empty... Like me. 485 00:28:08,292 --> 00:28:11,682 - I'm a moral vacuum. - Cheer up, darling! 486 00:28:11,852 --> 00:28:15,367 Nothing good comes out of Whitehall. You did what you could. 487 00:28:15,532 --> 00:28:18,444 - You don't really mean that. - I do. 488 00:28:18,612 --> 00:28:22,400 - I'm just like Humphrey and the rest. - That's not true! 489 00:28:22,572 --> 00:28:26,281 He's lost his sense of right and wrong. You've still got yours. 490 00:28:26,452 --> 00:28:29,808 - Have I? - it’s just that you don't use it much. 491 00:28:30,852 --> 00:28:32,808 You're a sort of whisky priest, 492 00:28:32,972 --> 00:28:35,850 you at least know when you've done the wrong thing. 493 00:28:36,012 --> 00:28:38,651 - Whisky priest? - That's right. 494 00:28:39,692 --> 00:28:41,330 Good. 495 00:28:41,772 --> 00:28:45,321 - Let's open another bottle. - We haven't got one. 496 00:28:45,652 --> 00:28:47,370 That's what you think! 497 00:28:50,972 --> 00:28:54,044 Who said nothing good ever came out of Whitehall? 498 00:28:55,332 --> 00:28:57,846 - You want one? - Yes, Minister